This just in: even a natural alpha is not immune to crippling DLV.
On Sunday two of my friends and I attended our church’s monthly after-service luncheon. I think the luncheons are intended to be “a time of fellowship,” which generally means that people who already know each other table up together and share gossip what’s going on in their lives. In other words, if you’re single, you’ve got about a 20% change of meeting the person who will one day become your spouse.
On this particular occasion, however, my friends and I had the good fortune of coming into contact with Wilhelmina, one of the church’s dowagers, who had zoned in on two male visitors and invited us to join them at their table so they would “feel welcome.” Ha. (Of course, now being schooled in Game, I took it as an indirect compliment that my looks are still viable. Well, either that, or it was a pity invite, but my hamster will not allow that line of thought to dominate.)
The two male visitors were Vlad and Pushka, whom I immediately recognized as the two guys who had sat behind me and my friends in the service and talked the whole time in another language. It turned out that they were Armenian Persians who were doing some church cruising. Vlad was fat, dark-haired, and had a unibrow that would make Bert from Sesame Street envious. He seemed nice but was not super-talkative, probably because his English was so-so. Pushka, on the other hand, was the most alpha single guy I’d come across at a church in a long time. He had a shock of unruly thick, red hair and the physique of a guy who enjoys weights, and he was very sociable. Even better, he had an interesting backstory that added to the contrast of his being able to claim Iranian citizenship while sporting very red hair. Before moving to the U.S., he spent ten years living in Spain – which allowed him to speak Spanish with my Spanish-speaking friends. Nice move!
I was starting to think that this guy had incredible, natural game – he even had the presence of mind to act surprised and insist we looked much younger when he found out how old we were – when he mentioned his Canadian “almost-fiancee.” When my friends pressed, he said that he wanted to propose to her soon, and that he had met her online through video games.
I’m pretty sure you could hear the crash of a boulder falling from a 70-story building when he dropped that knowledge.
While online dating has grown in acceptability, in church circles that’s more or less limited to eHarmony. Among Christians, I’ve never heard of a couple being matched through any other service. In addition, video games are pretty much the fastest way for a man to kill any desirability he may possess. Even though gaming is a huge industry, video gamers – at least white, male gamers – are consistently considered bottom-of-the-barrel mate material. And guys who use online gaming to meet chicks? That they want to marry?? Forget it.
Here’s a clip from How I Met Your Mother that nicely sums up people’s feelings about those who gets their dates this way:
Pushka said that he and Vlad would come back to our church next week. I wish him all the best. And I hope he doesn’t talk as much during the service.