…close friendship, where two people share common interests, a compatible sense of humour, and similar intelligence, etc. When a man and a woman are close friends in this way, the importance of sexual attraction seems to fade. Sexual attraction is still present…Still, sexual attraction becomes less important when a man and a woman are truly close friends.
She then made an even more provocative statement:
As long as you’re somewhat attracted to him or her, why not marry your best friend?
This seems like a pretty far cry from Dalrock’s and Badger’s insistence that a woman feel “head over heels” for any potential spouse, but in my opinion, it seems like a good recipe for a stable, enduring marriage. If women are able to grow in attraction to a mate and will feel more attracted and more attached to him once they have sex, and the woman at least meets a man’s minimum physical attractiveness requirements, and there is a preexisting emotional/intellectual bond and the two enjoy each other’s company, then that sounds like pretty solid grounds for marrying (assuming there are no red flags in other areas). God willing, you’re both going to be old and achy a lot longer than you’re going to be young and hot, so it’s worth investing in someone who will still be fun when your collagen production has reached its nadir and you can’t see each other clearly up close without bifocals anyway (not that you would necessarily want to, due to the wrinkles).
Speaking anecdotally, I had a friend who fit this description. We attended the same church and got along swimmingly. It was very easy for us to have lengthy conversations, and our senses of humor meshed well. We weren’t superclose friends, but I could tell that we were on the same wavelength. After knowing him for a couple of years, I started to think that if he hadn’t been married with kids, he was someone I probably could have married. I didn’t feel “head over heels” for him. I didn’t even have a crush on him. I wasn’t physically attracted to him (but whatever my minimum standard of physical attractiveness was, he met that, because I wasn’t repulsed by him). He was just someone I got along with really, really well.
When you consider that when you marry someone, you’re signing up to wake up to that person’s face every day for the rest of your life, and when you come home there’s no escaping that person, getting along really well becomes a pretty important consideration.
A picture is worth a thousand words!