I was talking on the phone with my mom this afternoon, and she told me that there is an older widower at church who is trying to find an older widow to date. He’s attempting the classic (and futile) church guy game plan of approaching each widow, one by one, until he can find someone who will accept. All the widows know about this, so that’s a big pre-UNselection minus. Worse, he has a poor reputation and since he has been in the church for a long time, everyone knows what his problems are. So that’s even exponentially worse pre-UNselection.
I suggested that this guy find another church, but then again, the evangelical church community in my hometown isn’t so big that word about him still wouldn’t get around. My mom, knowing that this guy spends part of the year in Florida, suggested that he might have better luck there because nobody would know him. Ouch.
The other bad thing about old widower game is that the older widower must also compete against the memories of all of the widows’ late husbands – men who married their wives when the wives were very young, were often the women’s first major loves, and who were the fathers of the women’s children. That can be a really tough act to follow. Plus, if the first husband did things right financially, the widow will have no economic incentive to remarry, either.
Bottom line: Game is for all seasons.