Your top three

26 Mar

Over at Boundless, there’s a recent post asking readers to write their top three characteristics they’re looking for in a spouse.  Most of the men (not a very large percentage of the comments) wrote briefly.  Most of the women wrote flowery descriptions of their ideal men that far exceeded three characteristics.  (Most of the women were also single.  Make of that what you will.)

I’ve had a list since I was 18 or 19 of qualities I’d like my future husband to possess.  It’s not 68 items long (as one Boundless commenter shared hers was), but it’s not short.  As I’ve aged, I’ve relaxed on some things, some out of maturity, some out of necessity.  If I had to limit it to three, though, they would be these:**

  1. bright
  2. funny
  3. brave

I had originally written confident instead of brave, but I changed my mind because brave is more all-encompassing.  It implies confidence, but with the moral connotation of inner fortitude.  It’s easy for a man to be confident in an environment in which he is comfortable; it is much less so in an unfamiliar setting.  While confidence is alluring, bravery wins hearts.

**Stipulating, of course, Christian givens like “loves the Lord” and general givens like “is physically attractive to me.”  Seriously, now:  it’s the rarest of women who willingly marries a man whose appearance fails to incite even the tiniest of positive feelings.

What are your top three?


One Response to “Your top three”

  1. Lover of Wisdom July 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    Those are good characteristics. What would you add if you could increase the list to say six or ten?

    My three are: intelligent, athletic (I’d like to play sports with her), and wise (in a practical, biblical sense).

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