Youth Group Guy

23 Apr

Anyone who has grown up in an evangelical setting is familiar with Youth Group Guy.  He’s the de facto social leader of the youth group by virtue of one or more of the following:  having the right parents, being willing to pray aloud in front of the entire youth group, being a part of the youth group’s praise band, being first in line to volunteer for outreach events, being eager to talk about his experiences on missions trips and how they Really Affected his relationship with God, being brave enough to confess to the youth group that he struggles with lust but somehow manages to treat all girls as if their looks don’t matter, promoting virginity via a True Love Waits or similar pledge, having A+ credentials in apologetics, always being the youth group’s number one supporter, being the youth pastor’s favorite and go-to guy for teen cred, and dressing better or at least more uniquely than all of the other guys in the youth group.  Sometimes he is considered “good-looking.”

Youth Group Guy typically has an extroverted, gregarious personality and loves to crack unfunny but safe, Christian-approved jokes.  Youth Group Guy lacks a sense of irony or sarcasm and has little use for subtext.  He tends to be proud that he is ignorant of popular culture and loves to denounce the evils of movies, television, and popular music.  He is convinced to his core that he is right and enjoys battling unbelievers on hot-button topics.

Youth Group Guy is usually deeply desired by a large percentage of girls in the youth group, who see him as the sexually pure spiritual leader of their future marriage.  He tends to treat all girls equally and doesn’t seem overly interested in girls, yet he always has a girlfriend, usually one of the choicest picks of the youth group (cute, nice, inoffensive, popular, wants to have lots of babies, sincerely loves Jesus).

Youth Group Guy’s future usually follows a track like this:  youth group superstar, goes to Bible college, majors in one of the liberal arts, acquires girlfriend who was homeschooled at least through eighth grade, graduates, gets married to college girlfriend, goes to the mission field or seminary, has a bunch of kids.

Sometimes I wish I could be attracted to Youth Group Guy.

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8 Responses to “Youth Group Guy”

  1. Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life April 23, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    So why the lack of attraction Haley?

    LOL what’s wrong with you? :-)

  2. Aunt Haley April 23, 2010 at 12:04 pm #

    I think the answer to either question can be summed up in the words “deficient taste.” ;)

  3. K(yle) April 29, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    Meh. I think a huge part of Youth Group Guys attraction is just the general attraction to social power/dominance.

    From the tone of your post it seems that you see that particular scene (the youth group) as something facile and the spiritual leader of said group being unimpressive because of it. His otherwise socially dominant traits are not as attractive to you as they are to women that do take that scene more seriously.

    If you transplanted Youth Group Guy to a different scene that you treated with more respect and admiration and all else about him being equal he would probably suddenly become more attractive.

  4. Aunt Haley April 29, 2010 at 11:08 pm #

    Hi, K(yle)–
    Yes and no. Status is always an attractor, but I would probably not be very attracted to Youth Group Guy in a different scene due to what are in my opinion undesirable personality traits such as lame sense of humor. There’s always that high status guy somewhere where you’re going, “Really? REALLY???”

  5. Eumaios October 9, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    OMG the envy herein displayed.

  6. Kelly October 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm #

    We had a few Youth Group Guys in my high school youth group, probably at least one per grade. One Youth Group Guy would come back from college on breaks and teach Sunday School and wow us with the new theologies he was learning.

    But then there was one Youth Group Guy who almost perfectly fits your description (good parents, played in the praise band, good-looking, charismatic, all the girls crushed on him), except that he not-so-secretly engaged in underage drinking on the weekends. Those of us who knew about his drinking thought he was pretty hypocritical and were bothered by how the youth group adult leaders were either oblivious or just overlooked his alcohol consumption because his parents were so well-respected and he said the right things at church. I really have no idea what happened to him after high school, but reading this description makes me curious.

  7. Andre February 27, 2012 at 6:57 am #

    In my nondenom days, I never ever got along with this type. I was the guy people wanted to pray for, not the guy who prayed out loud. But this is the leader of the pack and alpha. Take away the Christian factor and they could easily be a Travolta or Bradley Cooper in another setting.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pervy church geezers. « Haley's Halo - October 9, 2011

    […] as pretty much every evangelical church has a Youth Group Guy, pretty much every evangelical church also has a Pervy Church […]

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