Do men and women ever agree on looks?

29 Apr

I am often surprised at which famous women men find attractive.  Almost all famous women are objectively physically attractive; that is to say, while some of them may not be bombshells or traffic stoppers, no one would rank them in the lower half of attractiveness if grouped with nine other random women from Averagetown, U.S.A.  Yes, even without their hair, makeup, and wardrobe done by Hollywood professionals, these women would still be ranked in the top half, probably top third, of attractiveness in comparison with a truly random sampling of women of similar age.

But what makes a woman cross over into gorgeous or hot territory, in a man’s opinion?  (Besides big boobs, I mean.)  I worked with someone once who said he thought Hilary Duff was hot.  My jaw just about hit the ground.  Speaking as a woman:  cute, yes.  Hot?  NO.  I just read a comment on a blog that said that Lauren Conrad of The Hills was gorgeous.  Again:  cute, yes.  Gorgeous?  That’s stretching it a little, unless your standard definition of gorgeous is “generic Orange County co-ed.”  And what about the men who think actresses like Natalie Portman and Kristin Kreuk are hot?  I see beautiful faces paired with bodies shaped like an adolescent boy’s.  That’s supposed to be hot?

I think that for women, beauty in other women is aspirational.  Women look for the women whose perfect proportions don’t seem like work at all.  And those women are rare.  We see very easily the slightly too wide shoulders, the narrow hips, the brows that need constant grooming or they’ll hijack the face, the body that needs a strict diet and exercise to stay so thin.  It’s hard for women, even the most attractive ones, to hide imperfections from the critical eyes of other women.  Men, on the other hand, seem to have much simpler criteria and not as stringent standards.  I suppose this should be comforting…except for the fact that most of us will never come close to looking as good as a famous woman, and most men will never have a chance with one.

Any male readers care to enlighten?

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11 Responses to “Do men and women ever agree on looks?”

  1. Steve April 29, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

    While I don’t think that Natalie Portman is even that hot she is cute. The things those two have is youthful and pretty faces with small slender bodies. I don’t actually think they have the bodies of boys that’s just some bullshit that fat chicks say to make themselves feel better about having a big ass. Also what you’re saying about imperfections is generally not a deal breaker for a one night stand. A great set of tits or a really slamming body can make up for a zitty face or whatever for a night or two.

    What men find attractive is actually very simple. Here’s a good list for you.

    1. Between 18-23 are generally the hottest
    women with some still being as hot up to 26 but most start slipping around then.
    2. Long hair, shoulder length to mid back, preferably not frizzy.
    3. Not fat, I have one buddy who likes fat chicks and 300 who don’t, do I see a pattern?
    4. In shape, even better than being not fat is a girl who is fit.
    5. Pretty face, do guys really want to date a girl who we wish had a hotter face every time we looked at her.
    6. No weirdness in skin features, giant moles, super hairy arms, really bad acne or pock marks etc.
    7. No weirdness in facial structure, giant man chin, huge brow, whatever.
    8. Nice tits/ass, quite a few guys love huge breasts maybe 40% maybe 100%? I have no idea but most of us are very happy with a B or C cup and lots don’t even mind A. Asswise something to hang on to when we are hitting it from behind but we don’t need much more than that (Sir Mix-A-Lot may disagree on this point).
    9. Friendliness and fun loving. Guys really want to be around girls that are having a good time and are nice to us, sure lots of guys put up with shit from hot girls but would be much happier if those hot girls were nice to them.
    10. Sexually aggressive. All the studies blah blah say that men are the aggressor and do all the work, which is for the most part true but guys LOVE it when a girl they are attracted to puts some moves on them or does something sexually aggressive.

    I guess one final point is that chicks who dress nicer and wear a bit of makeup all the time for the most part seem hotter to us even if they arn’t because in our minds when she looks good she looks good and it doesn’t matter if it’s artificial or not. (Guys who don’t like fake boobs I’m looking at you you freaks).

    I hope this clears things up for you!

  2. Steve April 29, 2010 at 2:03 pm #

    Also we don’t need to have sex with famous women just super hot women, who cares if she’s famous?

  3. Aunt Haley April 30, 2010 at 4:55 pm #

    Steve, thanks for your response. Young, thin, not ugly – no surprises there, but it doesn’t really clarify the difference between cute and hot. Or maybe men don’t make that distinction in their minds.

  4. Santiago May 11, 2010 at 6:11 am #

    Cute: Natalie Portman.
    Hot: Kim Kardashian

  5. Josh June 15, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    Hmm, I must be a freak then because I don’t like fake boobs. I’d rather have small and natural. The real test of facial beauty is what a woman looks like without makeup under sunlight. Generally makeup helps, but if you can look good without makeup, that is truly impressive.

    Anyways, cute vs. hot. I think it depends on who you talk to, so I can only give my opinion. Hotness is sheer female beauty. Every indicator of sky-high fertility is there. Cheekbone definition, flawless firm skin, slender jaw lines, facial symmetry, optimal eye spacing, and slender but proportionate body. A beauty that is almost intimidating.

    Cute refers to juvenile, youthful features. This usually means a larger forehead, large round eyes, more subcutaneous fat in the face, and shorter stature. Fertility is also strongly correlated with youth, so it is no mystery why cuteness is attractive.

    I think my definitions may be more precise, because I am aware of the physiological correlations, but I think most men will agree the above. The two are not mutually exclusive. A woman can be both hot and cute. As both relate to fertility, both are desirable. Cuteness advertises youth, and its effectiveness declines quickly, while hotness can age quite well. Most men would consider Demi Moore still quite hot, while there is little chance that someone like Miley Cyrus, who is simply cute, will remain physically attractive at that age.

  6. Matt Calvey August 31, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    To me, cute and hot mean different things.

    Hillary Duff is cute (and alas, recently wed). She looks girl-next-doorish and is probably not a Hollywood slam big. She also looks like her development stopped in high school.

    I’ll agree with the earlier poster that Kim Kardashian is hot, but not cute. I wouldn’t touch her with the other guy’s johnson, but she is extremely good looking.

    Cute=Physically attractive, but with a good personality and value system, or at least the appearance of the same.

    Hot=Purely physically attractive. May well be a petri-dish, but is certainly worth looking at.

    Cute girls can be hot, but hot girls are not necessarily cute.

  7. Aunt Haley August 31, 2010 at 10:43 am #

    “Hollywood slam big”?

    Hilary Duff has a cute face and boxy body. The camera is very unforgiving to that kind of body type…it’s really difficult to create any illusion of curves.

    Kim Kardashian used to be very pretty, but she’s messed so much with her face that she’s starting to resemble an alien wax figure.

  8. Matt Calvey August 31, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    Hollywood slam PIG is how it should have been. Cute girls can be completely curveless, but to be “hot” a girl probably requires some curves. Hot is MORE about body than face, so a girl can get away with a lot of botox/facelifts before she loses her hot label…

  9. Bob September 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

    My friends and I have a system: Hot, Cute, and Beautiful. The difference may be somewhat enlightening.

    We consider Hot to be the Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie types – slutty, physically well-formed, probably have lots of mental issues and insecurities (therefore, either really clingy or refusing to date). These are the types that we want to have wild, no-holds-barred sex with but never see again. This is marked by that slutty face (we all know the type) and the tendency to act brash and aggresively masculine in regards to sex and alcohol. Hair is usually shoulder-length or less. They tend to be skinny, but with pronounced curves (Megan Fox is a good example). It is impossible to convince any guy that a Hot girl has been with less than 10 men.

    We consider Beautiful to be the Scarlett Johansson or Christina Hendricks types – these ones are just too perfect in a lot of ways. Physically very well-formed, these are the types who convince us to forget all Game and act like idiots. We generally have all but zero chance with them. Phyiscally, they have bodies similar to the sluts, but faces that appear decidedly un-slutty, unless they are really trying for it. They don’t act sexually aggressive, but everyone is thinking it anyway. Guys can easily convince themselves that Beautiful girls are near-virginal and unnattainable, even in the face of evidence otherwise. Still, most of them can switch to Hot just by applying too much makeup. Hair is usually longer, at least to the middle fo the shoulder blades. They tend not to be as skinny as the Hot girls, instead having lots of curves (real ones, not the ones fat girls lie to themselves about). No beta will ever feel totally secure with a Beautiful girlfriend.

    We consider Cute to be the Ellen Page or Natalie Portman types – they tend to be younger-looking, skinnier, and have smaller breasts. They have non-slutty faces except under the most liberal application of makeup. These types have larger eyes and narrower shoulders, and tend to be pretty short. They usually have smaller breasts than Hot or Beautiful girls, but not always (unfortunately, the only girl I can think of as an example is a real life friend, not a famous actress). Unlike Hot and Beautiful, Cute is attainable, without being “less” than the other two. Cute is the sort of girl you are proud to introduce to your friends, secure you can keep, and content to commit to.

    The downside of the system is that, having explained it to six different girls, none of us has ever found one who is happy with her classification. The only major, unchanging factor is the face. Big eyes = Cute or Beautiful, small eyes = Hot, wide mouth = Cute or Hot, small south = Cute or Beautiful, strong jawline = Hot (or not), feminine jawline = Beautiful or Cute, long hair = Beautiful or Cute, shorter hair = Cute or Hot, any sort of facial cosmetics = Hot or cougar (or, if the cosmetic surgery is undetectable and done extremely well, Beautiful).

  10. Aunt Haley September 4, 2010 at 4:27 pm #

    Women are never satisfied with their looks and can always point out things they wish were different, no matter how good-looking the women actually are. I suppose the six girls you explained your system to should just be thankful that they rated on the system at all. It’s a cold, lonely world (romantically) for the women who don’t.

  11. AM April 6, 2011 at 10:59 am #

    in the church setting, saying a girl is hot denotes a sexual connotation – and we can’t have that in today’s church! the male sex drive is evil

    cute is much safer to say

    really though, both basically mean the same thing – the girl is attractive, and 99% of the time that means sexual desire of some degree

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