How to be the perfect Christian date.

1. Be plain in an attractive way.
2. Stay at least a foot away from the other person at all times.
3. Don’t express too strong of an opinion about anything (a burning desire to become a wife and mother excepted).
4. Be home by 9:45 p.m.
5. Wear a calf-length denim skirt and bedazzled denim jacket.

Am I missing anything?