Presentation is of the essence: women’s edition, part 2.

31 May

Hey, readers.  I had a crazy week last week that left me mentally drained every night, so the blogging had to be shunted to the backburner.  Thanks to everyone who has continued to visit the site and has contributed to discussion.

Okay, back to the promised second half of my post on how women can maximize their appearance.  In Part 1 I discussed figure and face.  Here I’ll be discussing fashion.

Sometimes I think fashion is the trickiest part of a woman’s appearance to master.  Not every trend favors every woman’s figure, but many women choose their clothing based on trend, regardless of what the clothes actually look like on them.  Others eschew fashion altogether as a frivolous, materialistic, ungodly pursuit and prefer to wear uniforms of shapeless T-shirts and jeans.  Neither approach results in a more attractive woman.

In my opinion, good fashion flatters both the woman’s figure and her complexion and is contemporary.  (Just because something was considered tasteful in 1985 doesn’t mean it’ll still be tasteful today.)  In order to achieve good fashion, a woman should pay attention to the fit and drape of the clothing, the cut of the clothing, and the color and print.

– Fit/Drape

Fit and drape of fabric are just as important to women’s fashion as to men’s.  A garment can be stylish and tasteful and still look horrible on you if the fit and drape are wrong.  You can tell that a piece of clothing has a good fit if it doesn’t gap or bunch anywhere.  A button-down shirt shouldn’t gap between the buttons.  Pants shouldn’t bunch around the ankles or gap at the waist.  They shouldn’t sag at the butt.  The seam where the sleeve meets the body of a shirt should sit at the edge of the shoulder.  In general, your clothes should not look pulled-tight over your body, nor should they make you look like you’re swimming inside them.  Good drape of fabric is indicated by clothes hanging in a natural way off the body, as if gravity is the only force on the clothes.  Clothes shouldn’t look like they’re “caught” somewhere (like across the breasts or shoulders or thighs or stomach).

Often a trip to the tailor can correct problems with fit and drape, but if the alterations are such that it amounts to practically taking the entire garment apart and then re-stitching it to fit you right, you might want to skip on the garment altogether.  Also, DO NOT buy “aspirational” clothing that “someday” you will fit into when you’ve finally lost the fifteen pounds that you’ve been meaning to lose for the last five years.  Buy clothes that fit you NOW and that you will actually wear instead of hang in the corner of your closet and look at every now and then and sigh because you still haven’t lost those pounds.  By the time you actually lose the weight and manage to keep it off, the garment will probably be out of style, anyway.  In general, I advise getting rid of any piece of clothing you haven’t worn in three years.  After three years, most clothing is dated, and if you haven’t worn it in three years, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to suddenly get inspired and pull it out of the closet and start wearing it.  There’s a reason you didn’t wear it for three years, after all.

– Cut of the clothing

This is closely related to fit/drape.  An item of clothing can fit and hang perfectly on the body, but a poorly selected cut can undermine much of the good of the fit and drape.

The goal of good fashion is to give the impression of the woman having ideal proportions.  The ideal body proportion for women is to have a waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) of 0.7 (the waist measurement is 0.7 times the hip measurement, i.e., the waist measurement is roughly two-thirds that of the hips).  It is also generally considered more attractive and feminine for a woman to have long legs and a long torso.  Unfortunately, most women fall short of the ideal WHR and either don’t have long legs or don’t have a long torso.  This is where the principle of proper cut comes in.

Wearing clothes that are cut to flatter your figure is how you can create the illusion of perfect (or at least closer to perfect) proportions.  I generally think that proper cut is a trial-and-error thing that’s unique to each woman.  There are lots of fashion books that give tips on what to do if you have X body type, but following their advice to the letter won’t necessarily result in a better-looking you.  And just because a garment has a specific cut doesn’t mean that that garment itself is going to flatter you.  Even within cuts, you have to evaluate each garment individually.  Not all V-necks are created equal.  What you want to strive for is balance.  If you have a short waist, high-waisted pants won’t elongate your torso.  If you have short legs, really baggy pants won’t create an illusion of long line.  If you have a short neck, a V-neck may be more flattering on you than a crew neck.  And so on.

Usually if you do enough trial-and-error-ing, you will start to find that certain cuts work for you and that certain brands make those cuts in ways that are especially flattering on you.  Don’t be above buying several of the same shirt in multiple colors if the shirt works for you.  It’s better to wear a lot of the same thing that looks great than to wear a variety of things that look so-so.

– Color and print

Women’s clothing has much more vibrant colors and variety of colors than men’s clothing, so women should take advantage of that.  If your wardrobe is mainly olive green, slate blue, washed-out brown, and different shades of gray, your wardrobe is probably not catching the eyes of very many people, especially not men, whose wardrobes consist largely of the same colors.

Back in the ’80s, it was very popular to determine which colors looked best on you by classifying you as a “season”  according to your hair and eye color.  “Springs” looked good in neutrals, “summers” in pastels, “autumns” in rusts, and “winters” in bolds.  While I don’t think it’s necessary to be that strict, every woman has colors that she favors more than others.  In my opinion, it’s more important to pay attention to the tone (the lightness or darkness) and the saturation (intensity) of the color than the hue itself.  Don’t limit yourself by saying, “I can’t wear green.”  No matter your coloring, you probably can wear green; you just won’t look as good in all tones or saturations of green.

As for prints, be aware of the expanding property of prints.  I tend to avoid them because they make me look wider; as lovely as all the flowery skirts are that are out there, they often make me look like a wide load.  My feeling about prints is that they should accent your outfit, not be the focal point of the outfit.  If the print is the main thing drawing attention to what you’re wearing, be very sure that the printed garment flatters the part of the body it’s on.

Re: stripes – I rarely buy anything striped, especially if it’s horizontal.  Sometimes large, blocky stripes can be okay, but for the most part, stripes often tend to be too busy and too casual…plus, there’s the whole widening thing.

A few other things I thought of:

– Accessories

Not being overly burdened with wealth, I don’t own a lot of accessories (bracelets, earrings, necklaces, scarves, shoes).  Well-chosen accessories, though, can dress up (or dress down) an outfit and provide a contrasting accent.  Often just the accessories can make the difference between a casual and a dressy look.  Different accessories can also multiply the number of outfits you have (like wearing the same shirt with two different scarves).

– Wardrobe basics

Once you’re out of college, it’s a good idea to start building a wardrobe with items that will last you years, rather than just a season or two.  These are the items that are more timeless and are worth spending a little more on.  Having high-quality basics will make your entire wardrobe look pricier.  Here are some items that I think are indispensable to a contemporary (and usually professional) woman’s wardrobe:

– Dark wash jeans – Jeans are ubiquitous these days and are now made stylishly enough that they can be used in both casual and dressy settings.  Dark wash is the most versatile, so if you must buy one type of jeans, buy these.  They can be dressed up with a nice top and heels, or dressed down with a T-shirt and jeans.  I like high-end jeans (>$150) due to their not stretching out with wear, but you can find dark wash jeans at any price point, from Old Navy and Target on up.  A classic straight leg or slightly boot cut will flatter most women’s figures and look the most sophisticated.

– Black pants – Black pants are also extremely versatile and can go from office-wear to date-wear with a change of your top and shoes.  Express’s Editor pant is an affordable, medium-quality cut that is flattering on a lot of body types.  Banana Republic and J.Crew also make pants that work for this purpose and are a little more conservative in their cuts.

– Knee-length black dress – There’s virtually nowhere the “little black dress” can’t go.  You can dress it up or down with shoes and accessories, and if you choose the cut wisely, it may never go out of style.  If you have figure flaws you’re looking to cover up, it’s hard to go wrong with an A-line silhouette.

– Cardigan – Cardigans came back into style in the mid-’90s and refuse to leave.  Cardigans are an excellent layering garment for those times when you can’t tell what the weather will be like.  They can also add modesty to a sleeveless or strapless dress or top.  Black is the most versatile color, but gray and other neutrals can enhance any wardrobe as well.

– Knee-length coat – Depending on where you live, you probably should have one for spring/summer/fall and one for winter.  The belted trench is a classic style that’s “in” right now, but unbelted is fine, too.  Knee-length is versatile enough for just about any occasion except the most formal, in which case calf-length is more appropriate.  Make sure the coat does not add bulk to your silhouette.

– A bra that fits right – Your clothes will drape and lie better if you’re properly, um, arranged.  If you have never had a bra fitting, it’s something worth looking into.  At the very least, it will confirm that you’re already wearing the correct size.  You can have a fitting at any major department store or lingerie shop like Victoria’s Secret.  If you want to measure yourself, VS has a how-to guide.

– Underwear that doesn’t give you Visible Panty Lines – Your butt shouldn’t look like it’s divided into fourths.  That is all.

Okay, I think that about covers it, at least for now.  Overall, a wardrobe is an investment, and if you treat it like one, it will repay itself many times over over time.  Don’t be afraid to spend now for something that fits great, looks great, and is a quality garment that you will wear many times.  And while you’re at it, clean out your current closet using the Three Year Rule.  You’ll feel much better about buying new things if you have room for them in your closet.


9 Responses to “Presentation is of the essence: women’s edition, part 2.”

  1. Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life June 1, 2010 at 8:00 pm #

    You didn’t mention cleavage once… :-(

    Okay I’ll throw my two cents in, most guys are either breast men, leg men, or ass men.

    Pick ONE and only ONE of those areas of your body that’s the best, and flaunt them.

    Sexy is flaunting one area, slutty is flaunting two, low end sex workers flaunt all three.

  2. Aunt Haley June 1, 2010 at 8:46 pm #

    Good Christian girls don’t show cleavage, Athol!

  3. Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life June 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    Thought we were talking about landing a man :-)

    Lets be honest though, most fashion is created and designed by gay men and women. Hence the colors and layering and CARDIGANS. When men get to dictate how women look to please them we get Hooters Girls etc.

    I realize it’s not entirely appropriate advice for your site, but I’ll plow ahead anyway. We’ve got teen girls looking at fashion magazines and starving themselves trying to look like runway models, but if you look in a mens magazine it’s all busty models with a well rounded ass.

    I do think color coordination et al are good things, I mean I do that myself, but then I’m trying to be attractive to women. Men like to see skin. Perferably skin with curves.

  4. Aunt Haley June 12, 2010 at 9:12 pm #

    Do most men really want to be married to Hooters Girls, though? Men have a pretty strict divide between what they desire in a fantasy girl vs. what they feel is marriage material.

  5. Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life June 13, 2010 at 4:53 am #

    Well hooters girls generally show off more skin than I’m advising, I’m just pointing out what men respond to.

    To be honest if a woman covers up too much she loses marriage material status for most men. She’s advertising she has minimal sexual impulse, which means good Christian Men who are seeking a wife believe they would be signing up for a marriage with minimal sex life.

    Who wants to risk a marriage where after the first little flurry of sex it just dries up because of her naturally low sex drive and she only allows if if she wants another baby.

  6. Aunt Haley June 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm #

    I think there’s a considerable amount of variety in what men consider to be “too covered up” and that being covered up is no positive indicator of a woman’s lack of sex drive. If a woman seems uninterested in looking attractive (styling her hair, wearing clothing that is stylish and flatters her figure, wearing makeup, etc.), that might be cause for concern, but just because she’s not advertising her legs or boobs doesn’t mean she’s not going to want to have sex with her husband. A man would be better off paying attention to the woman’s body language and how she responds to his masculinity (I don’t necessarily mean any physical overtures on his part, but more his leadership, his confidence, his talents, etc.). Plus, I think every couple seriously considering marriage should discuss sex and expectations with a mentor or pastor present. If the woman thinks sex is optional in marriage or that she doesn’t have any sexual obligations to her husband, that’s a huge flag right there.


  1. Word Around the Campfire – the Man Who Couldn’t Cry edition « Hidden Leaves - June 5, 2010

    […] Aunt Haley: Presentation is of the Essence, Women’s edition, Part 2 […]

  2. Linkage is Good for You: Not Safe for Work Edition - June 6, 2010

    […] Aunt Haley – “Presentation is of the Essence: Women’s Edition, Part 2.” […]

  3. Blaming current ideals of beauty. « Haley's Halo - June 21, 2010

    […] physical appearance needs help. The average man doesn’t require that you be a size 2, but you should look like you are at a […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s