ManLingo: “I want to marry a girl like you.”

12 Jul

Sometimes when a man and woman become close friends, the man will say to the woman, “I want to marry someone like you” (or some variation thereof).

This is how the woman hears this statement:  “I am falling in love with you but I don’t know how to express it.”  Usually at this point in the relationship, the woman is harboring secret hope that the man is in love with her, because she is already in love with him.

This, however, is what the man really means:  “I want to find someone hotter who has your personality but I don’t want to hurt your feelings and actually tell you that I’m not physically attracted to you in the least.  Plus, I am enjoying your no-strings-attached company and you’ll do until I find someone who meets my criteria for physical attractiveness.”


7 Responses to “ManLingo: “I want to marry a girl like you.””

  1. Will S. July 14, 2010 at 7:24 am #

    IOW, the guy has “friend-zoned” the girl, and she’ll never transition from “the gal pal” to “the girlfriend”. What a horrible realization when it finally dawns on her, indeed; same as when a guy realizes he’s been “friend-zoned”, and will never transition from “the guy friend” to “the boyfriend”. This is why I think friendships with members of the opposite sex ought to be avoided, apart from actual dating / courting relationships, obviously, which are an entirely different sort of friendship.

  2. Josh July 15, 2010 at 7:27 am #

    You’ve got it exactly right. In all fairness though, women do the exact same thing to men.

  3. Aunt Haley July 15, 2010 at 8:27 am #

    The female version of this is “You’re a really great guy.”

  4. Aunt Haley July 16, 2010 at 9:36 pm #

    Is there really such a thing as the male “friend zone”? Or do you not subscribe to ladder theory (under which there isn’t so much a friend zone but rather a ranking of “5000th person I’d choose to have sex out of a possible 5001 options”)?

  5. Will S. July 17, 2010 at 2:50 pm #

    Actually, I do subscribe more or less to ladder theory, with this exception: I think a guy can be just friends with a girl, if she’s, frankly, unappealing sexually to him (too old, and/or too big).

  6. Will S. July 17, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    Yes! And mentally, every guy knows, whether or not she vocalizes it, what is the next thing in her thoughts, “, but…”

  7. tannen August 8, 2010 at 2:46 am #

    Funny, I get that all the time! Must be the low five figure annual income. And that’s after two dates! I brushed my teeth and showered too, what more can I do?

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