People on the internet only date very attractive people.

14 Jul

I have noticed that no man on the internet ever dates a woman who is less than an 8.  Whenever men seek relationship advice, half the time they mention their girlfriend is an 8, sometimes a 9.  (No one dates 10s, because that would just be pretentious.)  If I ever see a man come out and admit that he’s dating a 5 or a 6 who loves him very much and does her best to make him happy, I will probably keel over.  But then I suppose that would mean that the man is either a 5 or 6 himself, or he’s slumming, and nobody wants to come clean on either count.  But since 5s and 6s are the bulk of the population, and the bulk of the population does marry, then someone is dating those people.

Just not people on the internet, I guess….


22 Responses to “People on the internet only date very attractive people.”

  1. dalrock July 15, 2010 at 2:37 pm #

  2. dalrock July 15, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    When you got my kinda stats, it’s hard to get a date
    Let alone a real girlfriend
    But I grow another foot
    And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

  3. Samson July 16, 2010 at 4:47 am #

    If I ever see a man come out and admit that he’s dating a 5 or a 6 who loves him very much and does her best to make him happy, I will probably keel over.

    Really? I don’t think it’s that hard to find online communities populated by relatively open, honest folks, if you look.

    For what it’s worth, my circumstance demonstrates the fallacy of a single 1-10 “scale” for quantifying one’s dating “value”. Despite how it may seem, men really do care about things like personality as long as a minimum attractiveness threshold has been met – that is the key that is often missed. I married a 5 or 6 – in looks – who loves me very much and does her best to make me happy. Her personality is a rock-solid 10+ out of 10.

  4. Aunt Haley July 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm #

    Samson, my post was meant to be slightly tongue-in-cheek, although on the day I posted it, I read three different comments or posts which mentioned the girlfriend being an 8, and I’m sure if I went looking, I could find a lot more. Either love is blind, or there’s some obfuscation going on. ;)

    I’m glad to hear that you and your wife have a great relationship. Consider me keeled over. :)

    Re: minimum attractiveness threshold – it’s the height of the threshold for many men, not its mere existence, that bugs women.

  5. Aunt Haley July 16, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    Truth right here.

  6. Silas Reinagel July 19, 2010 at 5:41 pm #

    I have no problem dating girls with average looks, so long as they have the character and personality to make up for it.

    My last girlfriend was a 5-6 in the looks range. She loved Jesus and was a good person. However, she wasn’t very interesting. Her personality was fairly boring. 98% of the time I was creating all the value, planning all the activities, and introducing her to parts of my world. She didn’t have very much to contribute to my life beyond herself. She didn’t even offer much, conversationally, to discussions or topics that I brought up.

    I would have been quite happy to marry her if she were either more beautiful, or if she was more interesting. But, lacking both, even though she had good character, leaves me preferring being single to being permanently committed to her.

    As someone who isn’t a womanizer, but believes in marriage and following the principles of Christ, I refuse to marry any woman with whom I can’t enjoy both naked time and non-naked time in the long run.

    Most of the plain girls I’ve dated have had serious deficiencies of some sort. I’m not sure if it really is true that beautiful people are more intelligent and more interesting, but I have seen little to disprove it.

  7. Aunt Haley July 19, 2010 at 9:36 pm #

    Most of the plain girls I’ve dated have had serious deficiencies of some sort.

    Why are you dating these girls in the first place? It doesn’t sound like you’ve been truly attracted to any of them.

    I’m not sure if it really is true that beautiful people are more intelligent and more interesting, but I have seen little to disprove it.

    I tend to agree, although I’ve run into my fair share of people who are quite above average in physical beauty but are total duds to talk to.

  8. sdaedalus July 20, 2010 at 5:03 am #

    It is indeed extraordinary, but presumably they log in out of a desire to tell other men that there is hope out there, that they do not need to settle for a mere “7”.

    The difference between a 6 and an 8 or indeed a 5 and a 7 varies from man to man & often depends on how much positive reciprocal attention he is getting from the woman concerned (with some men, ironically, positive reciprocal attention may result in a lower rating for the woman concerned).

    My difficulty with the whole ratings thing is that, although it is possible to rate to within a point based on conventional social aesthetics, this results in guys choosing on conventional social aesthetics, everyone has slight variations & preferences and these tend to be disregarded.

    For example, Roissy’s pet hate is the manjaw, not all guys would feel quite the same way about this, although a lantern jaw in a woman is usually not an asset, some guys like a fairly sharp chin & jaw, some a more softly rounded one. The difficulty is, that any Roissyite disciple will now head for the more softly rounded chin on the basis it is higher status, even if it doesn’t quite reflect their own ideal preference.

    Similarly, guys in real life will be influenced by their friends’ preference and in particular the preference of the most alpha male in their pack in rating women aesthetically, however often this doesn’t translate to the same level of attraction in reality.

    I don’t actually think the Roissy rating scale is that far out, but it’s susceptible to more variation than people give it credit for, I would say 2 points at any rate (excluding the hair-make-up thing)

  9. Silas Reinagel July 20, 2010 at 12:50 pm #

    Why are you dating these girls in the first place? It doesn’t sound like you’ve been truly attracted to any of them.

    I don’t date girls that I’m not attracted to.

    However, as a seeker of holistic beauty, I care about more than merely physical beauty. Physical beauty fades with time, but inner beauty can grow substantially over time.

  10. J July 20, 2010 at 3:54 pm #

    I’m convinced that many men don’t even know what they are attracted to. There was reality show on US TV a while back that used “scientific research” to hook people up. They asked one guy to write down what he thought was attractive in a girl; he basically described a tall, blond super-model. Then they showed him pictures of women and measured his physiological responses. Based on his responses, they fixed him up with a petite brunette.

  11. sdaedalus July 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm #

    It would be so fascinating if they could do a similar test with women, and game.

  12. Aunt Haley July 20, 2010 at 10:34 pm #

    So did you think that these girls had good personalities and only after the fact realized that they…didn’t? I don’t know, it seems to me that blandness is usually fairly self-evident if you’ve had any amount of time to observe or interact with someone.

  13. Aunt Haley July 20, 2010 at 10:41 pm #

    I think that if any man is using Roissy’s (relatively narrow) preferences for physical attractiveness as parameters for his own preferences, he might as well stamp BETA 4EVER on his forehead and be done with it.

    A woman who is a 6 is probably some man’s 8 and another man’s 4, but the number of men who rank her at the extremes will be much lower than the number who rank her in between. That’s why it can be hard for an average-looking woman to find someone who genuinely finds her attractive; the numbers aren’t necessarily on her side.

  14. sdaedalus July 21, 2010 at 6:10 am #

    I think a further difficulty for the lady you mention in meeting someone who genuinely finds her very attractive is that they may not admit to themselves they do, even though they actually find her more attractive than the 7 next door, they will go for the 7 because she is more social proof, this of course is not very fair to the 7 either, because they lose interest in her quicker.

    The other thing I suppose is to go for someone who has a minimum standard of attractiveness approach but the difficulty is that although they might subscribe to that approach in theory they may not be able to live up to it in reality, they may lose interest if not particularly attracted (particularly if fussy, or their sex drive is not that high), if they have a high sex drive of course that’s another complication.

  15. J July 21, 2010 at 8:57 am #

    Roissy would debate that. After all, his dictates on what is or isn’t attractive have been “scientifically proven.”

  16. J July 21, 2010 at 8:58 am #

    Sophia Loren has a “manjaw,”cleft and all.

  17. sdaedalus July 21, 2010 at 9:02 am #

    Although I enjoy reading Roissy’s blog (some of the comments, less so), I don’t think “debate” is the right word here, J. More like “eviscerate” or possibly even “selectively moderate”.

    If you want a different view on the question of female attractiveness, check out this guy’s blog. He doesn’t mind getting involved in discussion either.

  18. sdaedalus July 21, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    PS: Sophia has lots of individual flaws, but they work well, when taken together. It’s really the overall look that counts with men.

  19. Aunt Haley July 21, 2010 at 9:23 am #

    J – Roissy doesn’t like it when people dispute his dogma of feminine attractiveness, that’s for sure. Objective beauty can be measured and agreed on, but people are not automatons. Intellectual recognition of a fact (“this woman is attractive”) and feeling it in one’s sexual gut (“Hulk smash!”) are two different things.

    Roissy prefers slender Russians and Eastern Europeans. I would hope that his readers are not all shifting to Russians and Eastern Europeans just because Roissy likes them best.

    sdaedalus – interesting link, thanks for posting. I definitely agree with him about class indicators.

  20. Silas Reinagel July 21, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    It’s often difficult to tell with introverts. Distinguishing between shyness and blandness is quite a challenge. Sometimes people have very little to offer, even after you get to know them. Some people open up a lot, once rapport is established and they feel comfortable.

    Blandness is much more evident with extraverts and people who are more group-oriented.


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