Young beta in love uses Facebook to speed the demise of his 2-week relationship.

3 Aug

I’m sure this is not an unusual occurrence, but for the love of Pete, people need to count to five hundred twenty before they post anything to Facebook.

I was skimming one of my regular message board haunts today and came across a thread entitled “Aw, young love.”  Thinking it was going to be about, say, someone’s junior high daughter having a crush on the most Justin Bieber-y boy in her class, I clicked.  What followed was this:

This guy I know who is about 21 and never had a real relationship just got a girlfriend. They have been dating two weeks and have already announced that they are engaged and both of their facebooks every day are full of grand sweeping poetic love declarations. The engagement isn’t a “real” one yet (like with a ring or date or real plans to move forward) but rather a “declaration of love and dedication to the emotions we feel in our hearts”

It is soooooooooooooooooo cute. I hope they survive the inevitable puppy love honeymoon stage crash. I don’t think people who have never been in a real relationship understand that not every day is going to be grand facebook declaration worthy

I’m not sure what is the worst part of this post to dissect first, because it is all bad.  The only thing that could make this story worse is if Beta in Love called up Delilah After Dark to dedicate “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain or “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls to this girl.  Basically, men of all ages:  do not be this guy.  I’m sure Girlfriend is swimming in a sea of oxytocin at the moment and is therefore blind to this guy’s overwhwelming beta-ness, but eventually she is going to wake up and wonder who this drip is that she gave heart/soul/body parts to.  Also, an “engagement” with no real plans to move forward that is based on “the emotions we feel in our hearts” has approximately a 6-month expiration date, max.  I feel sorry for all the Facebook friends who will have to suffer through the inevitable crash.  Luckily for them, Facebook allows you to block people.

8 Responses to “Young beta in love uses Facebook to speed the demise of his 2-week relationship.”

  1. Cane Caldo August 3, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    Who knows? Maybe she’s really fat, and has learned to settle. A win-win!

  2. Aunt Haley August 3, 2010 at 12:30 am #

    Not gonna lie…the image of SCA members flickered in my mind when I read that post.

  3. ThinkingMan August 3, 2010 at 6:23 am #

    That’s an interesting writeup. Even my most geeky friend who is probably the biggest beta I know never did anything close to what this guy did.

  4. Josh August 3, 2010 at 8:03 am #

    Eh, he’s 21. At least he’s getting an early(-ish) start and making his mistakes while he’s young.

    Two weeks is very fast, but I’ve known people who have decided to get married with about seven weeks…and it’s worked out for them so far. It’s like escaping a burning building by jumping out the window into a tree. Some people have done it successfully, but it’s not recommended.

    The real problem here is Facebook. I was raised to keep my mouth shut and let my actions do the talking. Facebook is the exact opposite of that.

  5. Anna August 4, 2010 at 6:39 am #

    Hater!! “I’ll Be” is awesome!

    But that is really unfortunate. I find it most attractive when a guy does not have Facebook at all, or doesn’t use it.

  6. Aunt Haley August 4, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    A lot of people use Facebook as a networking tool for work acquaintances, so the mere having of Facebook wouldn’t be a net negative. However, if the guy clearly spent a lot of time on Facebook playing Farmville or flirting with other women, or he had tons of “I’m shirtless and drinking beer out of a can! RARGHGHHH!” pictures, that would be a huge downer.

  7. Morghan August 8, 2010 at 11:37 pm #

    Facebook has to be one of the better ways to share family pictures and keep up with acquaintances in a different city who aren’t at the level of friend where you will keep up with them no matter what. Not to mention waking up at 3am to a crying kid, a little facebook on the phone is a good way to put yourself back to sleep.


  1. Word Around the Campfired – the « Hidden Leaves - August 7, 2010

    […] Haley: Young beta in love uses Facebook to speed the demise of his 2-week relationship., Field Report: Clapping on Command edition., and The stealth date and […]

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