No text conversation should last more than 10 messages.

15 Sep

Roissy – the real Roissy, not one of the A-plus-for-effort/F-minus-for-execution ghostwriters who have been plaguing the site recently – did another post on text game, where he reprints text conversations with women that his readers have submitted and then analyzes what the readers have done right and wrong.  The bad ones are cringe-inducing at best, and TL;DR at worst.  The latter make my eyes glaze over and make me wonder what kind of chump sits there and pounds his thumbs on a tiny keypad for an extended period of time that does not result in actually speaking to or being in the physical presence of the woman.

It’s impossible to run good text game when you forget the original point of texting:  brevity.  The more you drag out texting, the less effective it is.  If you can’t get your point across in one screen of text, maybe you should be sending an email instead or even…gasp…picking up the phone.  If you’re consistently sending a flurry of messages back and forth with a girl you like, maybe you should be talking on the phone or meeting in person.  Text game should be short, sassy, and always have an implied period at the end of every sentence (or, more likely, fragment).  You should not have an ongoing, day-long conversation via text where you have 200 new messages in your inbox at the end of the day.  That’s only romantic in indie movies about hapless betas.

Roissy is right that the longer you text a woman, the more the power balance swings in her favor.  (I can’t find the post where he said this, but I know I read it somewhere on the blog.)  The longer you sit there and type with your Thumbs of Thunder ([TM] Newsboys), the greater the chance that she is mentally putting you on the “entertainment” shelf or the “safe” shelf, both of which are LJBF territory.  Conversely, if she does actually like you, she will start to grow frustrated that you’re not making a move to ask her out.  She’ll start to feel like you’re just using her for entertainment.  (“I’m good enough to text ad nauseum, but not to be seen with in public?  What’s wrong with this loser?”)

This all brings me back to my subject line:  keep text conversations to a total of 10 texts between the two of you.  That’s plenty of time, text-wise, to say hello, dash off some flirtatious banter, and set up a date.  Beyond that, you start entering the land of diminishing returns and increasing the chance that you will sound arrogant, try-hard, needy, or lame.

Here’s an example of good texting that I had with my brother recently:

ME:  [attaching photo] Show mom- it’s my new comforter cover from ikea

BRO:  [an hour later] Are you 50 years old???? Hahaha

ME:  No it looks awesome in real life

And that was it.  Fun, funny, got the message across, didn’t wear out its welcome.  Sibling love strong.


7 Responses to “No text conversation should last more than 10 messages.”

  1. Joseph Dantes September 15, 2010 at 12:46 pm #

    Perhaps this is at last the secret to Haley’s masculine mentality, that permits her to write posts such as the above that reek so strongly of logical testosteroney realism.

    A hard-negging brother.

    I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier… my sister is very similar in this regard.

  2. Bhetti September 15, 2010 at 1:09 pm #

    Future Note for Haley:
    Do not use sibling as an example in a post about generating sexual attraction ;)

  3. Aunt Haley September 15, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    Although, if you can neg your sister, you should be able to neg someone who’s not. :) Spirit of the law, not the letter, and all that jazz.

  4. y81 September 15, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

    Hmmm, well, this is not a topic on which I could comment, having never texted anyone, nor knowing how to even if I wanted to.

  5. Lover of Wisdom September 15, 2010 at 2:47 pm #

    Which shade of Scandinavian white did you get? Or what is lumberjack flannel?

  6. Aunt Haley September 15, 2010 at 4:32 pm #

    None of the above.

  7. Troy October 1, 2013 at 8:00 pm #

    very true. i always have conversations with girls and it go on until things get boring.this is similar to

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