Rebecca St. James to marry Beefcake Missionary.

Friends, we are on the brink of the end of an era.  What era, you ask?  The first decade of the aughts?  No, we’ve already passed that mark, and moreover, I speak of something far more momentous:  the end of the era of Rebecca St. James’s virginity.

It was announced today in the press that Rebecca St. James has become engaged to Jacob Fink, a Colorado native and sometime missionary to South Africa who now resides in SoCal pursuing his “career in music” (whatever that means, which is most likely “doesn’t really have a job”).  Judging by the photo of the couple, Fink is your basic ideal Christian beefcake beta:  good-looking enough to be desirable, not dangerous enough to be sexually threatening or do something risky like skateboard down a railing or drink semi-copious amounts of alcohol.

For those not in the churchian loop, Rebecca St. James is a very physically attractive Christian pop/rock singer whose main claim to fame is her very public proclamations of her virginity and her determination not to have sex until she is married.  She has been the poster child of the True Love Waits campaign and, since she has been Christian-famous since she was about 16 years old or so and is now 33, it has been a very long, very public wait indeed.  So, with that in mind, congratulations are quite obviously in order.

But St. James’s case is an interesting one, and one made even more interesting by the articles that have been published about the announcement.  The first question is obvious:  what took so long?  St. James is very good-looking, so lack of male interest couldn’t have been a problem for her.  Moreover, she is famous in the circles where she would be most likely to find a husband, which certainly had to add to her perceived attractiveness.  (I believe that fame always adds to a person’s perceived attractiveness regardless of sex, if not in looks, then certainly in interesting-ness.)  And because St. James is both good-looking and famous, she had to have access to some of the highest-quality men that she would consider acceptable marriage material.  So what took so long?  Was she unreasonably picky?  Was she just too busy with her career to put in the time necessary?  Was she not that interested in marrying young?  Was her father’s dual role as her manager an impediment to her ability or desire to meet men?

Second, is Jacob Fink the best that St. James could do?  My knee-jerk reaction is no, especially given that Fink seems to have no significant life accomplishments beyond doing well in college and being a missionary in South Africa for two years.  We can infer from the articles that Fink has no notable pedigree, is not independently wealthy, and does not have a prestigious job (or any job at all?).  Yet St. James, who is famous and beautiful and far better of a Professional Virgin than Britney Spears ever was, is marrying him.  Couldn’t she have done better?  Don’t women want to marry up?  Why is St. James tying herself to a man she’ll probably have to financially support until she dies?  Well, there are a few plausible possibilities.  One is that at age 33, St. James hears the clock ticking and is more willing to settle.  Another is that St. James regards Fink’s beta qualities as Christian-alpha.  Ten bucks says he’s kind, good with kids, and devoted to a fault.  For someone with St. James’s mindset, which places top priority on fidelity and “cherishing,” Fink probably looks like a manly man uber alles.  Plus, I’m sure a good percentage of her brain is sublimated by his inoffensive beefcakey-ness.  My third theory is more of a subconscious level idea, which is that Fink IS actually the best that St. James could do, given her requirements.  To get someone as good-looking as Fink who also is able to keep it in his pants for somewhere between 28 and 36 years (I’m going to assume Fink is a virgin due to St. James’s statement “We are truly amazed at finding our dreams and ideals met in the love we’ve found. We are exceedingly grateful for this precious gift from God.”  [my emphasis] The whole thing seems cloaked in virginity-speak), St. James pretty much had to go beta.  A Christian alpha would have either married young or fooled around until he felt like marrying.  Additionally, Fink is good-looking enough to be sexually appealing while harmless enough not to be threatening.  St. James could date him and feel sexually attracted while not experiencing anguishing despair over her desire to surrender her virginity.  Fink allowed her to remain in control of her sexual destiny.

So what lessons can single Christian women take away from St. James’s story?  Well, one, it is indeed possible to meet and marry someone in your thirties.  The caveat is that however much more attractive St. James is than you, you need to subtract that from the attractiveness of Fink to get an idea of the ballpark where you’ll be playing.  Second, I think St. James is the exception that proves the rule, which is that for the most part, physically attractive men who may still be virgins in their late 20s or 30s and who are faithfully following God to the point that a devout Christian woman would find them attractive, are nearly impossible to find; that St. James is far more attractive than the average 33-year-old woman, which gives her opportunities the average woman will not have; and that St. James, despite the advantages of her wealth, fame, beauty, and virginity, could not get the “whole package” because Fink apparently doesn’t have a job worth mentioning in the press.