She likes someone else’s boyfriend.

23 Jan

Today in my internet surfings I came across a thread at one of my regular haunts that I knew I had to share with my dearest of readers.  It is a capsule of Roissy validation, i.e., it is a real-life, real-time dramatic incarnation of most of the principles of female nature he discusses.  Social message boards for women are some of the most instructive reads for insight into female nature; the nature of the medium does not alter the substance of interaction.

So, here’s what happened:  OP, in a thread titled “I like someone else’s boyfriend.“, goes attention-whoring by posting the following:

Lol, it sucks. But yes, I am smart enough not to ever do anything about it. He’s so awesome and we are so alike. I like him as in yes, I wish I could have him, but I just honestly like him as a person. Oh wellllll.

Right off the bat, we know we are dealing with a young woman, probably early to mid-20s, who craves attention and drama and is set on getting it by denying the very thing everyone with half a brain can tell she wants, even as she herself wants to believe that she really doesn’t want to steal this guy away from his girlfriend.  When the first reply suggests to simply enjoy the friendship since the guy does like his girlfriend, OP says:

Yes, he does. Should I add the story that I am 100% sure he would cheat on her with me. But, I just can’t. I would feel so bad no matter how much I like him. It’s not like a I’m liking him from afar thing. We talk all the time.

The East German judge gives OP’s hamster a 10.0 AND strikes a deal under the table with the Soviet judge to give OP a 10.0 also.  Anyone who believes this girl would “feel so bad” if she had sex with this guy needs to go pick up his White Knight suit with the Honors Beta badge from the dry cleaners.

With this additional piece of information, the dogpile begins.  Admonitions – rightfully so – that the guy is “shady” and that OP should “be careful” start up.  This attention prompts OP to reveal even MORE salacious details so her inner narcissism monster can be fed:

Because he’s mentioned it. We live in a SMALL town, and everyone knows everything, so that sucks. He apparently saw me leaving yesterday night and asked where I was going. So I told him out to the bar in another town. So he text me all night telling me to come over after I was done. And text me some dirty messages that I won’t even type here. I was like “aren’t you with your girlfriend?” He said yeah, but she will be gone later.

Now, that being said, I DO like him. So much. But I’m smart enough not to do anything. Because it is shady, and yeah, not cool. I know that I need to stop having contact with him, and it just sucks because I like him. I don’t know why I like him so much. He is willing to cheat on his girl. I think it’s because like I said, we have SO much in common, and I never meet people like me.

This is CLASSIC attention-whoring in the tried-and-true junior high girl tradition.  “I’ve got a SECRET!!!!!!…but I can’t tell,” “I’m in so much emotional suffering,” and “I don’t deserve this” techniques are all deployed here.  The only other biggie she left out was “I’m SUCH a ditz, tee-hee!”.

In a bid for even more attention, OP also starts denying that anything will happen between herself and Shade:

Whatever makes me feel better? I’ve already mentioned I won’t do anything about it. And I am serious about that.

In my experience, if you have to assure someone that you won’t do something, then you’ve already thought about doing it and are looking for someone to tell you that it’s okay to do it.  (Exceptions:  when your mom makes you promise that you WON’T DO SOMETHING despite the fact that you never discussed the topic with her EVER and never even thought about it seriously until she brought it up.)

Now that Shade’s douchebaggery is out in the open for everyone to see, the shaming tough love begins:

Wow, he sounds like a real prize and I can’t believe you’d like a guy like that. He obviously just wants you for a booty call and otherwise has no respect for you or his girlfriend.

//

Yeah, I think you should try to see his infidelity for the turn-off that it is. Maybe it will make it easier not to mess with him.

//

Ew he sounds like trash.

This is where things get interesting.  Are these other girls correct that Shade is a super d-bag?  Of course.  Any guy with a girlfriend who is sending dirty texts to another girl and talking to her all the time is prime d-bag material.  But are these girls correct that his douchebaggery is a turn-off?  No, they’re not.

The only reason that these girls can be objective about the situation is that they themselves are not attracted to Shade.  It’s pretty clear from the discussion that no matter how low-rent Shade is (and if he works at any place more prestigious than, say, Best Buy as one of the incompetent louts who can’t tell you anything about any of their products, I will be shocked), he has enough game to get OP to throw ethics to the wind and soak up his attention AND go seeking even more attention by telling strangers on the internet about the situation.

So, no matter how much these girls tell OP to stay away from Shade, to delete him from her phone, to tell him to…go jump in a lake (they use some more, um, forceful language), OP won’t.  OP already likes Shade, so nothing will be able to trip up her hamster.  OP will tell herself until she’s blue in the face – as she has done and continues to do in this thread, and until, I imagine, she is in the very act of having sex with Shade – that nothing will ever happen between her and Shade and that she has no desire to steal him away from his girlfriend.  And she will honestly believe herself.  And when it DOES happen, she will not be able to understand how it happened, and she’s not that kind of girl, and she feels SO bad (except she doesn’t).

And the thing is, all women are like this.  I’ve felt these seeds in myself at times and wondered why I was doing things that I would hate myself for if I weren’t the one doing them.  Even feminists are like this – maybe even more so, because I think that the more feminist a woman is, the more deeply and idealistically romantic she is.  A friend of mine who is a self-described “pinko commie” feminist fell for a roadie for her favorite band.  Roadie had a girlfriend, and would ignore my friend whenever the girlfriend came to a show, but it did not matter to my friend:  she and Roadie shared something special that was beyond the ken of the average person.  I tried to explain to her that Roadie was a loser, that she had no future with him, and that I did not understand why she was accepting second-best treatment and outright disrespect, especially when she was supposedly such a feminist and trying to be a role model for young women who have no better sense than to read Twilight.  Nothing I said made any impact.  Even when I pointed out that as a woman, why would she try to undermine another woman, all my friend did was shrug and pawn it off as not her problem.  She was in heaven when near Roadie, in angst when the girlfriend, known as Bitch, was around.  I finally told her not to talk to me about him ever again.

So what is the Christian spin on all of this?  The first is that you need to develop discipline NOW when you don’t have this kind of temptation in your life.  You also need to develop discernment so you will be able to pick good friends, and humility so you will listen to your friends and trust that their judgments are good.  If you find yourself saying about a guy, “Well, they don’t know him the way I know him, so they must be wrong!”, you most likely should stop and chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself.  (I mean, think about it:  the way you described him to your friends was enough to raise red flags in their minds.  That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement for his character.)  And you need to develop character so you won’t become a common attention whore, chronicling your narcissism on the internet for everybody in the entire world with an internet connection both now and in the future to read.

As a companion piece, I recommend Ricky’s latest blog post, “Raw Concepts: Double Messages.”  It addresses the narcissism angle that OP so robustly demonstrates.

ETA:  OP is also constructing a scenario for plausible deniability in her actions with Shade.  She is giving him signals that she’s DTF but won’t jump him herself.  Being a man, eventually he is going to feel like experiencing someone else’s vagina, and being an alpha, he is going to be able to get it from an easy target, a.k.a. OP.  Then OP can say that it wasn’t her fault, “Shade just came after me when I was vulnerable and one thing led to another.  He’s the bad one.”

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68 Responses to “She likes someone else’s boyfriend.”

  1. jack January 24, 2011 at 12:12 am #

    Your analysis of the OP/attention whore is accurate.

    With regard to the roadie with the harem:

    Your friend who is providing a ready means for roadie to cheat is exhibiting disgusting and adolescent behavior. So, it is not like she is depriving a good man of a wife.
    The actual roadie girlfriend is probably not much a valuable woman either.

    So why would good men care? Well, the problem is that it is our toxic culture that uses every means available to encourage and nurture this kind of behavior in women.

    Women, being the more emotional sex, are having their strings wound to the breaking point by the over-romanticization of our culture, and the conflation of sexuality and romance.

    Essentially, I am saying that WITHOUT the social mechanism of slut-shaming, there will eventually be a deep deficit of “good girls”.

    Men are still HEAVILY policed by culture. Women are really not policed much at all.

    For example, when Tiger Woods was caught cheating, everyone wanted to throw the book at him. The baker’s dozen of harlots that enabled him were seen as ‘misguided’ at worst.

    I guess we are all just supposed to understand that when an alpha-male athlete offers you a sexual relationship, it is impossible for a woman to resist. She is powerless to control her sexual response in the face of his yummy alphaness.

    And when she falls to temptation, we are to forgive and ‘not judge’. But the man? We can judge him as much as we like.

    It’s over for a large number of men to ever find a good wife. Many women, including these two in roadie’s harem COULD HAVE BEEN good women if the culture helped guide them that way. Instead, they will continue to follow their tingle right off a cliff.

  2. Cane Caldo January 24, 2011 at 2:42 am #

    Speaking of shame: there’s a fantastic scene in Band of Brothers that I love. When the Americans liberate Eindhoven, and the townsfolk shave the heads of the women who slept with Germans. My first reaction was to the brutality of the scene, but when I reflected on the violence inflicted on the social fabric of the community by those women…well we lack that level of commitment.

  3. Wayfinder January 24, 2011 at 5:38 am #

    Good post. I think it’s helpful to understand these kinds of thinks from the inside, for both men and women. There are huge blind spots in our thinking about love and relationships and there are way too many casualties who should have known better.

  4. Toz January 24, 2011 at 6:16 am #

    Great game analysis, especially with respect to the power of the rationalization hamster. As a Christian, it seems to me that much of feminine virtue is related to suppressing the hamster as much as possible.

  5. ASDF January 24, 2011 at 7:21 am #

    I feel for Shade. He’s going to sleep with this chick, and then she’s going to go tell his girlfriend, because she “just doesn’t feel right” about it.

  6. JG January 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    This post gives great insight into the skank mentality. She knows he’s trash and wants him badly, enough so to begin making excuses for what is soon to be dishonesty and maltreatment of this guy’s girlfriend.

    The girl with the crush is right. They do have much in common. Both of them are garbage as people.

  7. op January 24, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    I have gazed into the dark heart of Woman,
    and seen the gaping maw of Hell itself.

  8. Aunt Haley January 24, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    JG–
    It’s not skank mentality, it’s female mentality. All women think this way when they encounter a man they want. The virtuous ones just do the best of stifling their natural impulses.

    Toz–
    A hamster on a roll can rarely be stopped.

    ASDF–
    I pretty much think Shade deserves all manner of bad things coming to him.

    …Okay, maybe not death, but temporary maiming would be acceptable.

    op–
    Stephenie Meyer called to let me know she would like your help when she writes her next emo YA novels.

  9. Rebekah January 24, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    “check yourself before you wreck yourself”

    Awesome. Even better : “Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self”

    I think most women feel validated when a man with options demonstrates interest, and perhaps it’s a little power trip if that man has a wife/girlfriend. However, the VERY few times this has happened to me, the tiny thrill of the attention is very fleeting. Obviously the man’s a skeeze, so that’s not very fun, and how horrible I feel when people betray me comes flooding in almost simultaneously. There’s something to be said for being a good person.

    I wonder if it’s OP as in, are you Down with OPP? I’m also wondering if she’s been cheated on before (maybe quite a bit) and this little love triangle is making her feel better about herself.

  10. nothingbutthetruth January 25, 2011 at 1:16 am #

    Amazing insight about the hamster. Until now, this furry rodent has only been described by men, that is, from the outside. Your description from the inside is astonishingly informative.
    .
    It seems to me that women have a cognitive dissonance between what they want and what they think they should want.That is, between the lower parts of the brain that regulates emotions (the hindbrain and the lymbic system) and the “upper” parts of the rain that regulates reason (the neocortex). Or, as Pascal put it, “The heart has reasons that the reason does not know”.
    .
    The way to solve this cognitive dissonance is to find a pseudo-rational answer (rationalization). This razionalitazion denies the emotions, the desire of acting on them or they simply finds a rationale to justify acting on the emotions. So they believe they won’t have sex with these guys, while at the same time, they do everything to have sex with these guys.
    .
    It seems difficult to me to understand how a person can be aware and unaware at the same time of one thing, but this is what seems to happen.

  11. jack January 25, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    “It’s not skank mentality, it’s female mentality. All women think this way when they encounter a man they want. The virtuous ones just do the best of stifling their natural impulses.”

    Of course, but the natural impulse can also be trained to respond.

    This woman is feeding that impulse by playing with it. Righteous people do not turn their sinful impulses in to a game of “gee, I wonnnnnnder what will happen…”

    If you don’t want to get drunk, you may not want to hang around the bar all night, even if it is just to ‘see the band’.

  12. Julie January 25, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    Women do have cognitive dissonance. I believe her primitive impulse is to mate with the man who would have been the best choice in a hunter-gatherer tribe. He’d be good at hunting, good at defending his family from violence, etc. And he’d probably have the best genetic material, thus helping to ensure the survival and reproduction of children.

    This kind of man is usually not the best to actually marry though, in our current civilization. However, the kind of man that it’s best to marry often does not stir her primitive attraction to the same extent.

  13. jack January 25, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Which is why the girl want to carousel now and marry a beta later.

  14. Julie January 25, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    They don’t think that way–it’s not like it’s their plan from the beginning. The plan (or hope)is to marry an alpha who really is good for her and will be a faithful family man.

  15. brightstormyday January 25, 2011 at 3:04 pm #

    Um…yes, I do believe that she would feel bad if she slept with this guy.

    Jeez, every time I go to this blog I find miserable people tearing each other apart and bitching about this or that. They scrutinize celeb’s virginity status and harp on people in relationships or people who have feelings for one another.

    I have two words for everyone here–fuck you. Actually, I have two more after that- lighten up.

    It’s people like you that made my father leave the church. It’s people like you who probably encouraged the crusades. It’s people like you who alienate others from religion because you are doing God’s work in judging everyone around you.

    How about you look long and hard at yourselves and do what you can to improve your faith in God before you criticize others for their actions to boost your egos?

    You’re just a bunch of miserable fucks who justify your miserable actions with religion.

    And no, this isn’t specific to this post, but to several others on this blog in general. What miserable fucking people.

  16. Badger January 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    This is an unbelievably candid and lucid analysis.

  17. jack January 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Brightstormy – you just judged us.

    Haha. The argument is over, and I won.

  18. Kathy January 25, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Dear oh dear.. Someone has rained on brightstormydays’s parade..

    Cheer up, sunshine.. And, always remember every cloud has a silver lining. :D

    Ps.Don’t forget to pick up your dummy on the way out now.

    http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spit_the_dummy

  19. ASDF January 25, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    What was wrong with the crusades? They were a response to muslim aggression. My only problem with them is that we didn’t win convincingly, but at least we managed to save Europe.

  20. Aunt Haley January 25, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    Badger–
    This is an unbelievably candid and lucid analysis.

    Mine, or brightstormyday’s?

  21. brightstormyday January 25, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    Umm…no, I didn’t. I pointed out your hypocrisy. Two entirely different things. Such ridiculous people.

    I’m sorry Haley, but your entire blog reeks of misery most of the time. I saw the word Christian and it drew me in, but I just feel like you (and maybe not so much you, but you feed and encourage this) need to put everyone down just to make yourselves feel better, day after day after day. To feel better about being alone. To feel better about being old and alone and shitty.

    That’s all it reeks of.

    @ASDF: I wouldn’t exactly mind if one of your ancestors were killed fighting.

  22. The Man Who Was . . . January 25, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

    I wouldn’t exactly mind if one of your ancestors were killed fighting.

    Wow, comments don’t often get more vicious than this. Kind of ironic from someone allegedly against violence and hypocrisy.

  23. ASDF January 25, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    @ASDF: I wouldn’t exactly mind if one of your ancestors were killed fighting.

    Why? I thought you were a Christian. Why would you support muslim aggression against Christendom? Or, for that matter, why would you wish death upon strangers who lived 1000 years ago, just to spite another stranger on the internet?

    I’m sure some of my ancestors did die defending Europe. What were your ancestors? Muslims? Or cowards who didn’t join the crusades?

  24. Mandy! XD January 25, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

    I was trying to keep up the cheerful tone he used when he joked about “saving europe” and those muslims.

    Funny, its okay when one of you laughs about it, but as soon as the joke gets personal…oh no, its not acceptable.

  25. ASDF January 25, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    I wasn’t joking about the crusades. The muslims spent the better part of a millennium trying to conquer Europe. Only brainless liberals think Europe is somehow at fault for daring to defend itself.

    And PS, nice joke. “I hope your ancestors were killed”. I’m not really offended, but honestly, you are living proof of there not being any good woman comedians.

  26. Wayfinder January 25, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    How, exactly, did the conversation end up here?

    I mean, there are a lot of bitter people here (hi jack!) and a positive attitude is preferable for many reasons, not least of which is that you’re more likely to attract a mate.

    But still, this is a complete derailing.

  27. brightstormyday January 26, 2011 at 4:53 am #

    @Wayfinder:

    Because I expected to find something more uplifting on a Christian blog than post after post of absolute negative shit, and if it’s not on haley’s side, it’s on someone else’s. I wouldn’t have guessed this was a Christian blog from reading it. I would have guessed that haley is a lonely 35 year old who’s trying to hamster rationalize her purity and desirability by derailing other women over and over. If it’s not her, it’s basically set up as a debate literally begging for shit tons of aspergy men to try to justify their anger and bitterness with their religion.

    @ASDF re female comedians:

    I have oodles of estrogen running through my veins, what’s your excuse?

  28. Kathy January 26, 2011 at 5:18 am #

    Brightstormyday… I do not know what is eating you. Why bother reading this site if it agitates you so much?

    You do not seem like a happy little vegemite to me.. (Oz saying)
    Angry in fact…

    Haley on the other hand appears to be a good natured easy going person with a sense of humor.. I don’t think that SHE is a negative person at all.

  29. Brendan January 26, 2011 at 7:08 am #

    Keep in mind that Mandy is very young. She popped up at Roissy’s old blog over a year ago if I’m remembering correctly. I don’t think she’s going to relate to some of the things discussed here due to the age/life-stage difference at play between her and most of the posters (and the host) here.

  30. nothingbutthetruth January 26, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    “need to put everyone down just to make yourselves feel better”

    It seems to me that this is exactly what you are doing.

    “You are pathetic, ridicule, reek of misery because you attack one each other” (paraphrasing).

    If you don’t see the irony in this attitude, you are more deluded than I thought.

    “To feel better about being old and alone and shitty.”

    Well, I am not alone. I have the best woman I have known as my girlfriend and I couldn’t be happier about that. But, if I were alone, so what? You don’t get extra credibility because of being in a couple.

    About the Crusades, I am from an European country that was Christian and was conquered and ruled for centuries by Muslim people. Then, Christian people reconquered the land. The intellectual people in my country used to idealize the Islamic past. Me too. This was caused by ignorance of the Islamic faith.

    Not anymore. Since I have met and worked with Muslim immigrants living in my country and I have studied more about Islam, I am convinced that Islam is the worst thing that has happened in the history of mankind. Not that Muslim people are bad people, but Islam is a totalitarian ideology. Muslim people are good despite Islam, the same way that the average German person during World War II was good despite Nazism (although he supported Nazism).

    Don’t believe me: read the Qur’an, the Hadiths and the Islamic jurisprudence. Read Islamic doctrine and reach your owns conclusions instead of believing what you are told by mass media.

    I regret that the Crusades did not reconquered the Middle East for Christianity. The world would have been MUCH better: for Christians, for atheists, for Budhists, for animists and even for Muslims. I never thought I would ever say that, but now I have much more information.

  31. brightstormyday January 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    @Kathy:

    No, she just tears apart other women while her biological clock ticks away. She’s a great person. Fantastic in fact.

    Also, has anyone pointed out the irony of Christians using EVO-psych to justify their points of view? LOL. So evolution doesn’t suit you when it comes to creation, but when it comes to judging people, oh, even better.

  32. brightstormyday January 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    @novaseeker:

    No, I can’t identify with being a middle aged and dried up. Or a single dad.

  33. Cane Caldo January 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    @AH

    “A hamster on a roll can rarely be stopped”

    Not true. I’ve watched a bunch of old movies, and many a hamster was stopped cold. Unfortunately, society has made a good slap bad form. I’m a patriarch kind of guy, and even I won’t slap my wife–though a couple would certainly have been in order.

  34. Cane Caldo January 26, 2011 at 10:42 pm #

    @Mandy

    For real! How good are these so-called Christians, anyway? I mean, aside from: delegitimizing slavery; birthing and encouraging self-determinism; inventing public education; incubating and expounding the sciences on an unprecedented scale over centuries; and producing a fountain of magnificent art and music that has no rival…what have these people done? They’re totally not perfect. What a bunch of losers, to have express less-than happy thoughts–anonymously–on the Internet. Phonies, the lot of ’em.

  35. CAB January 27, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    …inventing public education…

    Well, you can’t bat 1.000, I guess…

  36. brightstormyday January 27, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    @Cane Caldo:

    I’m not attacking Christians. And I’m not attacking everyone on this blog for being “Christian.” More importantly I’m attacking them because they use religion when it’s convenient for them….when it gives them a right to judge other people. In short, for being HYPOCRITES.

    Please, learn to read.

  37. brightstormyday January 27, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Also, Cane Caldo, I highly doubt that anyone in this group has done any of the above things. It’s like me arguing,”Well, my great great great great etc. grandfather fought in the American revolution, therefore, I’m fucking fantastic.” No. As much as you’d like to think so, a lot of things done by supposed Christians as you said were not necessarily done out of a faith in God. A lot of things were done using God as an excuse (conquistadors anyone?) while seeking glory to satiate their own ravenous pride.

    Furthermore, because another Christian happened to do something fantastic doesn’t mean that you’re automatically absolved of all the shitty things you say/do. That would be like me saying,”Well, Marie Curie was a woman and a great chemist, so all women are fantastic at science and I’m the best.”

    IT. DOES. NOT. WORK.

  38. Cane Caldo January 27, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Dang, you ARE young.

  39. ASDF January 28, 2011 at 7:40 am #

    Now you’re hating on conquistadors? What is the matter with the youth of today?

    Also, there is an organization called “The Sons and Daughters of the American Revolution” which is very popular.

  40. Mandy! XD January 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

    ASDF, I’m aware of it.
    And the problem isn’t with americas youth; the problems we have were started by your generation. Unlike you I was fortunate enough to receive an education that allows me to think critically and see events from more than one perspective. I’m sorry you’re not as fortunate.

  41. Lily January 28, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    Oh Mandy, oh Mandy. You really are precocious sometimes lol.

  42. ASDF January 28, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

    How old are you? We might be in the same generation, as I’m only 28. Anyways, the education system from the 80’s until now is nothing short of leftist indoctrination. So the fact that I turned out ultra conservative, whereas you are parroting what your teachers and the media tell you, means that I’m way more open-minded that you are!

  43. brightstormyday January 28, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    I had conservative teachers, liberal teachers, and teachers in the middle.

    I had some incredibly conservative teachers.

    I look at both sides and take what I can. My education was not American based but rather internationally based. Anyone who studied what I studied, in say, Korea, South Africa, Switzerland, or Albania would have learned the same material I learned (with perhaps a few slight differences). My exams were graded by people in different nations. My teachers, however, were all very different, and very interesting, and had no problems presenting their opinions on a day to day basis, and because they were from this special program they could. We were encouraged to think and interpret information in an out of the box manner…creativity was welcomed…and if you spewed thoughts that weren’t your own you were penalized.

    I come from a conservative leaning city with many Cubans. Cubans tend to be republican. I have republican parents, republican grandparents, etc. etc. etc. Please don’t pull that card on me.

  44. brightstormyday January 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    Becoming Ultra Conservative because you conceive that everyone around you is liberal is a bit immature…aren’t you a bit old for angsty rebellion? Furthermore, the term conservative itself does not even mean “open minded.” You’re not open minded. Your argument is ridiculous.

    I also think it’s hilarious that you’re telling me about the “media.” My family hasn’t been able to afford a television since I was in middle school, and now that i’m away I still don’t have access to one. I don’t read the news or listen to the radio, but rather, if an issue concerns me, I’ll take my time extensively researching it, analyzing the sources, etc. as I was taught, to finally form a balanced opinion supported by fact.

  45. Aunt Haley January 28, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    I’ve banned brightstormyday for the time being. I’m too old, morose, and decrepit to deal with a teenage girl who is Better Than Me And Everyone Else In The World.

  46. Lover of Wisdom January 29, 2011 at 12:44 am #

    Well, Haley, you can’t say your blog is boring!

  47. ASDf January 29, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    THANK YOU

  48. Aunt Haley January 29, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    You’re welcome. Although it did interrupt my regularly scheduled applications of wrinkle cream and Ben-Gay.

  49. Brendan January 29, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

    Hehe

  50. ASDF January 29, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    How old are you, anyways?

  51. Aunt Haley January 30, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    ASDF–
    My age and my photo are both off-limits. But to give you a ballpark, I’m too young to be your grandma, and too old to be your (theoretical?) kid.

  52. ASDF January 30, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    I had you pegged in the 28-32 range. Your ballpark of 14-90 doesn’t really help.

    I think this is an anonymous and flattering way to show us what you look like.

    http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen/madmenyourself/

  53. y81 January 30, 2011 at 6:04 pm #

    ASDF: Cool website. I made myself (with my daughter’s help), but I don’t know how I would link to it or post it here.

  54. Svar August 20, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    This has been a rather lulzstatic read. Just checking through the old articles and reading the threads. This Mandy chick is effing retarded, haha. Anyone with a brain will move towards a conservative direction. I’m 18 and I head that way.

    Either way, Mandy’s trolling doesn’t take away from the truth in this article. Women do some crazy things and then rationalize it with their hamsters. Good stuff.

    P.S. Did anyone find it ironic that a Cuban bitched about the Conquistadors? VDare and Steve Sailer would have a lulzfest analyzing that case.

  55. Svar August 20, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    “When the Americans liberate Eindhoven, and the townsfolk shave the heads of the women who slept with Germans. My first reaction was to the brutality of the scene, but when I reflected on the violence inflicted on the social fabric of the community by those women…well we lack that level of commitment.”

    Agreed. Though I’ll admit that when I had seen that scene I wasn’t fazed. Probably because of all the Roissy I’ve read. I just thought “typical tingling frauen”.

  56. Svar August 20, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    Btw, I just love it when liberals try to make Christianity all “fluffy-bunnies-and-love”. The “don’t beeee juuuuuudgementaaal” deal doesn’t really hold water when you consider the fact that God is. Oh well. Some people.

  57. Jennifer August 20, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    You need to get that creep Roissy out of your head. Replace him with Susan Walsh and Athol.

  58. Svar August 20, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

    Why, Jen? He is pretty right. Susan Walsh is for girls(I haven’t read her in a while but I kinda like her site. But seriously, let’s get real, there is no such thing as Hooking Up Smart). As for Athol Kay, eh. Also, Roissy’s kinda funny. Personally, I prefer the Christian alternatives like David Collard’s site when he’d post or Gaming My Wife or Hidden Leaves. Seasons of Tumult and Discord was great as is Alpha Status even though neither is Christian.

  59. Jennifer August 20, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    No, he’s not right, svar; he operates on unhealthy female weaknesses. His methods are unhealthy and unChristian. Athol’s hilarious, btw, without mocking women. Some of his methods are secular, but I trust you’d know how to act. Leonidas is cool, but he strains many details too much sometimes.

    “But seriously, let’s get real, there is no such thing as Hooking Up Smart”

    It’s tongue-in-cheek, silly.

  60. Svar August 21, 2011 at 6:04 am #

    Alot of Christian men learned from Roissy, Jen. I actually learned about LTR game via Roissy when I read an old post talking about Dave from Hawaii/Keoni Galt, a secular guy who believes in monogamy and patriarchy. In fact, Keoni Galt is the man who first made me aware of the book “The Garbage Generation” not Alte, a Catholic. I forgot about Hawaiian Libertarian. It’s another good site on this matter. I used to visit it everyday for the articles and the changing side bar.

    I’d say that the best game site would have been Seasons of Tumult and Discord. You had the best of both worlds: a philandering womanizer like Talleyrand and a man happy within his LTR(but still noting the ways of women) like Alkiabiades. The foray into alt-right politics and philosophy was also appealing to a conservative like me. Then again alot of game sites within the manosphere blend in with the alt-right.

  61. Svar August 21, 2011 at 6:06 am #

    “It’s tongue-in-cheek, silly”

    Oh. It does seem that a lot of the girls that comment don’t see it as so, however. Silly maedchen.

  62. Jennifer August 21, 2011 at 9:21 am #

    Roissy is trashy, Svar, and basically thinks women aren’t very smart and should be emotionally manipulated. I dont care what he says about LTR, I’ve read his rules for that too. Stick with Kane or Athol Kay, or Badger or Dalrock.

    “Oh. It does seem that a lot of the girls that comment don’t see it as so, however”

    Well, you were as silly as them :P

    Are you German btw?

  63. Svar August 21, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    “Roissy is trashy, Svar, and basically thinks women aren’t very smart and should be emotionally manipulated. I dont care what he says about LTR, I’ve read his rules for that too. Stick with Kane or Athol Kay, or Badger or Dalrock.”

    I guess he is trashy and cruel and manipulative but he still has some good insights. Many of the milder manosphere men have learned from him. FWIW, I haven’t read Roissy in a long while. I don’t really read him anymore; about once every few weeks. I used to read him every single day but his blog can be as damaging as porn, it can warp your mind and make it hard for you to actually trust and love someone; CAB said that it’s best to detox from it. I agree. I generally stay away his blog nowadays, but I still remember his maxims. They have a way when comes to sticking in your mind. I generally stay away from his blog nowadays.

    “Well, you were as silly as them :P”

    I guess, but no one can be as silly as maedchen. Except for frauen of course :P

    “Are you German btw?”

    Hahah, no. Alte was right when she said that she suspects that she is more Germanic than I. Which she is. I just admire Germans, the Japanese(ja, ja, Svar die Fascist), and the Portuguese. I just use random German words I know to annoy trolls and make jokes, especially with Stadt-Land-Fluss, a German guy who hangs out at Trad Christianity.

    It all started back when Jane over at Traditional Catholicism said something about how she’s soft because she’s Romanian and that Alte’s hard because she’s German and that Alte just can’t “understaaaaaaaaaaand!!”. That’s when I started doing it. Btw, I’m born and raised in America.

  64. Jennifer August 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    “his blog can be as damaging as porn, it can warp your mind and make it hard for you to actually trust and love someone”

    THANK you, my friend. As long as you know this, I don’t worry about you taking some of his insights. The thing is, men need to discern between what women are attracted to, and what they need (sometimes, not always, there’s a difference). Ex: Every woman needs a strong man and is attracted to them. But some women are attracted to arrogant jerks, and they do NOT need those men. I trust you know the difference. I have a book recommendation for you in fact, hold on..

  65. Jennifer August 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    Heh, you guys were funny on Alte’s blog.

    Ok, here’s the book recommendation. If you’d like, for pure and simple entertainement, a great anology of good alpha vs. bad/weak alpha, there’s a brilliant YA thriller called “Shattering Glass”. The story’s told by a young boy who’s friends with the resident highschool alpha, Rob. Rob is THE alpha in EVERY way: he’s strong, confidant, unapologetic, polite, dominant of his sphere, persuasive, intelligent and kind, the latter of which wins him hard loyalty unmatched by any before him. Yet he’s also humble when he needs to be, listening to the friends in his circle. The alpha before him, Tristan, was a joke of a guy: good-looking, bossy, arrogant, obnoxious, nasty and unintelligent, always kicking those below him; Rob replaced him so fast when he moved to the school that he didn’t know what hit him. Now, incidentally, the main plot is about a guy that Rob wants to help out and lift in the social status; a kid named Simon Glass, a gamma, or omega or whatever, I don’t know what you’d call him, but he’s a nerd and easy bait for the shallow Tristan. But as Rob helps Simon ascend in the hierarchy, Simon shows a nasty side and wishes to replace Rob; the power play between the young men is one of the most fascinating aspects of the novel.

  66. Svar August 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    Compelling book, Jen, I’ll go look it up. I personally think that Vox Day’s overly complex taxonomy of male hierarchy is ridiculous. Either Alkibiades or Talleyrand of STD made this exact point as well. There are no gammas, deltas, or sigmas and what not. There are just three categories: Alpha, beta, and omega. The guys from STD then went on to describe these categories not as ranks within an hierarchy but as sexual and relationship behaviors.

    As in:

    Alpha = behaviors that promote sexual attraction but not relationship comfort.

    Beta = behaviors that promote relationship comfort but sexual attraction.

    Omega = behaviors that don’t provide either and are repulsive to women.

    That article helped me moderate my (at the time)Roissyian views. It helped me realize that women want and need both alpha and beta behaviors. I agree that women want/need strong men.

  67. Jennifer August 21, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Glad you like the look of the book :) VERY good summation of the three main traits, btw. Funny, even women will follow their sex before their hearts sometimes..

  68. Svar August 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    “but sexual attraction.”

    I meant to say “but not sexual attraction” btw.

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