So, in an effort to scrounge up twelve dates by May 10, because nobody I know knows any single Christian men, I finally forked over money to eHarmz. The level of psychological pain this action incurred was comparable to my feelings when I see how much of each paycheck I lose to taxes. Since starting eHarmz about a week or so ago, I have been matched with close to a couple dozen men and am in the early communication stages with a handful (they initiated contact).
In these early stages, you can send five pre-scripted, multiple choice questions to the other person. One of the questions is “what are your feelings about premarital sex?”. The answer choices range from “totally against” to “very much a fan” (paraphrase). One of my friends always uses this question as a sort of litmus test for the man’s spiritual commitment, so I figured I would, too. So far none of the men who have answered this question have answered “totally against.” And in my preferences, I have matches restricted to the highest level of religious commitment as well as to primarily conservative Protestant denominations. So on the anecdotal level, the idea that supposedly committed Christian men believe that sex is only for marriage is bunk.
Even more telling, though, is that NONE OF THESE MEN HAS ASKED ME THE SAME QUESTION. If virginity/restriction of sex is supposedly so important to men, wouldn’t they be very interested in my feelings about it? Yet so far nobody has sent out this question.
Then again, one of my other questions is “what are your feelings about gender roles” (with answers ranging from “get in da kitchen and make me mah DINNUH!” to “halfsies on all chores!”), I haven’t gotten matched with anyone who believes in traditional gender roles, and a number of the men have chosen the “we should define gender roles for ourselves” option.
I’m trying to keep an open mind, but my apathy is rising.