I was talking to my parents on the phone today and my mom told me about an experience she’d had that I thought would be relevant to the blog. While we were on the subject of American Idol, talk turned to Adam Lambert, and my mom asked if she had told me about her fellow election volunteer. I said no (and wondered what prompted this particular non sequitur). Well, my mom informed me, I needed to get a load of this lady.
So, apparently there’s another lady who volunteers on election days, too, and my mom has gotten to know her a little in the standard “we’re both stuck here all day so we might as well be friendly” kind of way. According to my mom, this other woman is probably in her late 40s or early 50s, is married, and has three sons, the youngest of which has now graduated from high school. I don’t know this woman’s name, so for the purposes of this blog post, I’ll just call her Rhonda.
Anyhow, Rhonda has been very nice and seemed relatively normal until the most recent election, where she showed up dressed like a goth and had a dyed-red streak in her hair. It turns out that Rhonda is divorcing her husband. Also, two of her three sons are gay (the middle one is the straight one). The youngest son dropped out of school and got his GED because he was bullied so much for his flamboyance.
I told my mom that Rhonda was in the throes of a mid-life crisis. My mom then told me (bringing the discussion full circle) that Rhonda also had a tattoo of Adam Lambert’s autograph. A couple of years ago, Adam Lambert came to town to perform a concert at a major city festival that Rhonda and her family worked at. They were able to go backstage and meet Adam, and Rhonda got Adam’s autograph not on a piece of paper but on her body. The very next day, Rhonda had Adam’s autograph tattooed onto herself.
My question was, Where was the husband in all of this? What self-respecting man allows his wife to get a (young, gay) male singer’s autograph tattooed onto her body?** For a middle-aged Midwestern mom, that’s practically adultery. I couldn’t help but think that either the husband had checked out of the marriage emotionally years ago, or he was fatally unequipped to deal with his wife and children. Wielding some pimp hand along the way would probably have helped save his marriage. It would even help him now, if he cared to exercise it. A woman acting out to the extent that Rhonda is is BEGGING for an alpha to come into her life and show her what’s what.
The whole story made me sad to hear it. Divorce stories are always sad. But one thing is clear: Female nature abhors an alpha vacuum.
**But blah blah blah, a woman is the sole boss of her body, blah! In this case, NO: the tattoo is a subconscious FU to her husband’s betaness.