Bug killaz.

18 May

A couple weekends ago, I came back to my apartment with some female friends to watch a movie.  I went into the kitchen, and one friend said, “Uh…is that a big bug on your ceiling?”

I looked up at the ceiling and didn’t see anything.  Then I looked where she actually meant, and there, sitting on the vent, was a cockroach that was maybe 2 1/2 inches long.  My friends immediately wanted to find a guy in the building to kill it.  I suggested a neighbor who I was pretty sure was male (judging by the chubby guys I had seen entering with bottled beer on another occasion), so my friends ran over to recruit his services.  Alas, he was not home.

My friends continued to freak out, and I realized that if I wanted this roach out of my apartment, I was going to have to remove it myself.  Not having any roach spray, I decided to see if ant spray would be effective.

It wasn’t, really, but it did get the roach to fall to the floor, whereupon I smashed it with the can, and roach bits went flying.

My friends congratulated me on killing the roach and marveled that I was able to do it.  In my head I was going, “What else could I have done?  I couldn’t leave it there, and I couldn’t have you guys standing around freaking out about it for another half an hour.”

Secretly, though, I was sort of glad that I killed the roach myself.  I have a hard time asking favors of people in general, and sometimes I get the impression that men feel awkward being asked to help, or they feel put out/annoyed that someone is interrupting their plans.  Men seem to be happy to grab things that are out of reach, or occasionally to lift something heavy, but beyond that, things get questionable if you don’t know what a man’s specific abilities are.  He might be good at doing something…or he might not.

Maybe some of this just boils down to how patient a woman is.  Not too long ago, Suzanne Gosselin of Boundless wrote about how she never once changed a tire while she was single because she always had beta orbiters helpful male friends who would do it.  She saw this as a good thing.  My reaction was more of, “Why didn’t she just change it herself?  It’s not that hard.”

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36 Responses to “Bug killaz.”

  1. Badger May 19, 2011 at 3:51 am #

    “Not too long ago, Suzanne Gosselin of Boundless wrote about how she never once changed a tire while she was single because she always had beta orbiters helpful male friends who would do it. She saw this as a good thing.”

    Tell me again how mainstream Christianity is so much better than feminism? One tells women that God created men to be their slaves, the other that men are an evolutionary accident.

  2. y81 May 19, 2011 at 5:58 am #

    Hmm . . . “when she was single.” Past tense. It seems like she must know something. And although changing a tire is a nuisance (takes time and gets you dirty), most guys would be happy to kill a bug.

  3. R6T May 19, 2011 at 6:02 am #

    If a woman couldn’t muster up the courage to kill a bug then it would be a definate DLV for me. Sure, go ask for help from a man if he’s more suited to the task due to his greater height or strength, or due to the potential danger. But a bug? Give me a break.

  4. Purple Tortoise May 19, 2011 at 6:44 am #

    I very much agree with R6T that this is a DLV for marriage and indicates she is likely to be an entitlement princess. If a woman freaks out over a bug, how is she going to deal with real problems in life?

  5. ASDF May 19, 2011 at 6:45 am #

    If I were your neighbour, I would think that would be a definite come on attempt. Two girls show up at my door to get me to kill a cockroach? If you found a rat or something in your kitchen, that would be another matter, but a bug? Who can’t kill a bug?

  6. Purple Tortoise May 19, 2011 at 6:51 am #

    Clarification: needing help is not a DLV — men like to feel needed — the DLV is not being able to deal with a trivial problem.

  7. Kathy May 19, 2011 at 6:58 am #

    My daughter jumps up and down and screams when she sees a cockroach..

    Of course she is only fourteen.

    I tell her to get rid of it herself..(Rolls eyes)

    Sheesh.. it’s just a cockroach..

    Entitlement Princess indeed, PT.. :)

    Much ado about nothing.

  8. Paige May 19, 2011 at 7:43 am #

    Bugs are a common phobia just like heights or snakes or mice. Women are probably more prone to phobias than men are.

  9. Brendan May 19, 2011 at 7:45 am #

    To bug-kill, or not to bug-kill, that is the question.

    I have generally had the bug-killing responsibilities in my own relationships, but it’s never really bothered me for the reason that once a bug is realized to be in my general vicinity, I simply cannot rest until it is eradicated and eliminated therefrom. So it’s not an imposition on me.

    Now, if a neighbor came by and knocked on my door and asked me to kill a bug in her place, that would be … weird. Kind of an invasion of personal space, really. Not a DLV (I’ve been around plenty of women who are hysterical around bugs, to be honest), but just weird.

  10. Thag Jones May 19, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    There was a (single) woman who lived in my building a while back who came asking ME to help her because her electricity was off. I asked if she’d checked the fuses, suggested going to the hardware store when she said maybe the building office would have some, she looked puzzled and said she didn’t know where the fuse box was (I’m not sure she knew what a fuse box was).

    So I went up and found the fuse, and she was worried she’d get an electrical shock somehow. I pushed the little button and the lights came back on and she examined the fuse and asked if it was safe to do that and wondered if she’d need gloves of some sort! LOL “Look, I just did it and I’m still alive!” Good Lord, how do these people survive?! Same woman also asked me how I got the hallway window to stay up – I’d propped it open with a stick! Oy vey!

    “Just get a 15 Amp fuse.”
    “OK, a 15 Watt fuse.” Heh.

    Come on, you seriously sent people to look for a man to kill a bug? Was it a ruse to get a man in your place or is this serious? As people have said already, I don’t think men mind helping in some circumstances, but most men would find you just a bit too precious for asking him to kill a bug for you. o_O

  11. Country Lawyer May 19, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    Self-reliance is a virtue.

    Most of the women described in the bible (Zipporah, Tamar, Deborah just to name a few) seem like the kind of women that if they lived in this day and age would kill a bug, change a tire or do whatever was necessary and within their capacity to do so.

    Relying on others to do things just because we don’t want to is sloth.

    Last time I checked, sloth was a vice.

  12. Ceer May 19, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    Haley, I have bad news for you. Men who go around killing bugs for groups of women are pretty much all betas.

  13. Paige May 19, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    I think that if you have a significant other it is okay to divide duties up according to what is most pleasant/unpleasant for each. My husband hates changing diapers more than I do, and I hate killing bugs more than he does…so this is a division of labor that works for us.

    I hate bugs but when I am alone in the house I will usually get a broom and just sweep the bug outside.

  14. Hana May 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    Last year, I lived in a townhouse where the basement was infested by cockroaches (although I don’t remember seeing any as big as the one you describe). The cockroaches migrated upstairs to the kitchen, and the landlord’s solution was to drop off a bottle of insecticide powder.

    Needless to say, I spent a lot of time around cockroaches last summer, attempting to kill them. It was annoying (and I moved at the end of the summer) but really, they were just bugs. Apparently, I don’t have a phobia of bugs. On the other hand, I’ve never changed a tire (not that I have a car at the moment) and would probably automatically ask a man to do it. So I guess I’m just as guilty as the next woman of using my femininity as an excuse for helplessness when I run into something I don’t want to do!

  15. Josh May 19, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    Most guys don’t mind killing bugs, and most guys don’t mind killing bugs for girls. It might have been different before co-ed dorms became common, but I think at least the past 20 years of college students are extremely used to this.

    Like most things, this is context dependent. If you ask a guy to kill a bug, and he’s already in the room standing next to you, I don’t think anyone will think poorly of you. If you have to cross the street and ask your neighbor, then you might be a princess. Killing a bug is a very trivial task, and if the guy performs it quickly and and competently, without putting on a big show, that can be a DHV, just because it shows a basic level of physical ability.

    And just for future reference, the general threat response for insects is to drop and scurry. After getting hit with ant-spray, which is generally pyrethroid-based, it will take awhile for the insecticide to work. Big roaches die slowly, small ants die quickly, but they will all die. So if you want to kill bugs with less mess, just hit it with spray, it will fall to the floor and start spasming, wait for that to stop(a couple seconds), then just sweep it up.

    For things like tires and such (moving apartments…cough) as long as you act like you asking for a favor, rather than expecting a favor, I think most men will respond favorably. It’s not entitled to ask for help, it’s entitled to expect help. And of course, be appreciative afterwards.

  16. Aunt Haley May 19, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    Badger–
    One tells women that God created men to be their slaves, the other that men are an evolutionary accident.

    Where are you getting this reading from? The Bible is pretty clear about the way men and women are to relate to each other, and it does not include defining men as women’s slaves.

    Hana–
    Glad you got out of that apartment! Ewww.

  17. Shishir May 20, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    Bugs are more than just a “phobia”.Most people are uncomfortable around bugs and other things that crawl on the earth.The Bible recognized that humans are uncomfortable with any species which crawl on the earth

    Genesis 3:14
    And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou [art] cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

    The reason we use a sound like Ssssshhhh to silence children is due to its similarity to a snake hissing.Even someone who never knew what a snake was would react to such a sound with alarm,it is something primal in humans.

    Im sure it is something similar with bugs, probably due to their association with decompostion and such.

  18. Nate May 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Am I the only one here who immediately thought of that scene in Annie Hall after reading this?

  19. Old Guy May 20, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    No. Nor the later scene where a re-enactment fails.

  20. lifeinlonglegs May 21, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    For a man, who has likely killed at least something in his lifetime – on purpose – killing a roach = no big deal. For a woman, who by nature wouldn’t thrill or delight in guts coming out of the bug’s shell or bug bits flying everywhere — this may be a FIRST TIME DEAL. Especially if she’s never lived on a farm.

    It’s not the killing, its the thinking that’s the issue:

    A woman who kills the bug, cringing and wishing there was a knight in shining armour to come rescue her is probably fairly normal: she’ll want to involve you in decisions, want you to take the lead but overall when it comes down to the nitty gritty can take care of business.

    A woman who does not kill the bug but cries, whines, curls up in a ball, or solicits the help of a man without even thinking of doing it herself may be that entitlement princess you have to worry about making decisions about whether they should pull the plug on you in the hospital after a massive car wreck.

    A woman who does kill the bug, without even contemplating male assistance or turning the task over to someone more experientially qualified – may have seen a thing or two in life and know how to handle problems – but she’ll handle them HER way without consulting you. What does she need YOU for? She may squash you just as quickly – if only emotionally.

  21. Thag Jones May 21, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    The above by lifeinlonglegs has got to be one of the silliest things I’ve read on here in a while. You are reading waaaay too much into killing a bug, sheesh. A woman who isn’t a powdered arsed princess who would kill a poor helpless buuuuug without a second thought is a ball breaking ice queen who won’t consult anyone on real problems in life? ROFL

  22. Kathy May 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm #

    I co sign what Thag says.. You are over thinking things here LLL.. It’s just a bug, ‘kay..

    “experientially qualified”??? Come on, now..

    Just get your shoe and give it a good whack..

    No experience required..

    It’s not like you have to chop the chicken’s head off so you can cook it for dinner..

    Now, THAT would require experience. :D

  23. Old Guy May 21, 2011 at 9:14 pm #

    We have here the makings of a standardized fitness test. Approach the subject in apparent distress and say “There’s a ____ in my apartment, can you help?” Substitute,variously, “wasp”, “mouse”, “bat”, “rat”, “snake”, “racoon”, “big snake”, “poisonous snake”, “wolverine”, “big poisonous snake” or “komodo dragon” and see how he reacts. Find out if his self-confidence is an affectation! Tell the men from the PUAs with one E-Z test! (Extra points if he sends you for a large pillowcase, the better to release wildlife unharmed.)

    Lill: The guy you’re looking for, who approaches women with an eye on who might become the mother of his children, won’t want to leave his kids alone with you if you need help killing a bug, even if it’s your first time. [Takes the Lord’s name in vain.]

  24. Hermes May 22, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    Where are you getting this reading from? The Bible is pretty clear about the way men and women are to relate to each other, and it does not include defining men as women’s slaves.

    I assume Badger was implying that mainstream Christianity isn’t following the Bible. (We all know this has long been true of the liberal mainline churches, but I think he was including conservative evangelicalism in “mainstream Christianity” as well.)

    Perhaps that’s too harsh, but one does get the vibe from publications like Boundless, people like Al Mohler, and various churches that they think women’s purpose is simply to exist and men’s purpose is to complete women. One can’t help but note that this is quite at odds with Genesis, which says that God created the man first and then created a woman to be his helper.

  25. Thag Jones May 22, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Also Hermes, I highly doubt there are any women in the Bible who couldn’t kill a bug. Think of how tough Mary would have had to be, really. Virgin does not equal complete and utter useless wuss.

  26. Thag Jones May 22, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

    Also, being a prissy princess is not a virtue.

  27. Kathy May 22, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    Look, this problem is easily solved. Get a cat. Mine is a great bug catcher.. He even eats them.. Cockroaches too..

    If you get a cat or two, then you won’t need a man..

    Oh.. wait.. :D

    [AH: If you’re ending a sentence, use a period. If you’re pausing, use a comma. But no more of this “..” nonsense.]

  28. y81 May 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    Maybe if Haley and her friends had gotten the guys from next door, they would have done like we did when were kids, and made a flamethrower from an aerosol can and a cigarette lighter. You can have major fun attacking bugs with those devices. It’s a better activity for outdoors, though.

    I have never met a woman who did this as a child.

  29. sean May 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    wow, it amazes me how people are against the manly nature. i am a woman and i can change a tire, kill a bug, or anything else. the only time i have had to do these things is when no man is around. most of the time i get started on a task and some man offers to do it, i let him with a smile. as i explain to young ladies (it is usually young women who don’t understand the concept) let a man be a man. it is not an automatic entitlement mentality to let men do what they like to do which is to show competence to women. in return as a woman you need to smile, flatter and be grateful.

    [AH: No one here is so special that they don’t have to observe the rules of capitalization. Consider this your warning.]

  30. y81 May 24, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    Wow, there goes my plan of winning Haley’s favors by reciting “ponder, darling, these busted statues.”

  31. sean May 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

    [Come back when you discover the shift key.]

  32. Kathy May 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    “[AH: If you’re ending a sentence, use a period. If you’re pausing, use a comma. But no more of this “..” nonsense.]”

    Aye aye, Captain. (salutes)

    Methinks that there is more than poor grammar that is pissing you off, here. ;)

    How’d I go? Did I pass muster, this time around?

  33. Kathy May 24, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Hey, I just had a thought. (Bad news, eh?)

    What about changing your moniker from Aunt Hayley to Grammar(grandma) Nazi.

    Could be a goer I reckon. :D

  34. Eumaios May 26, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    y81: “I have never met a woman who [used an aerosol can as a flamethrower] as a child.”

    Did you just prove HBD?

  35. Eumaios May 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

    Kathy, did you misspell her name on purpose?

  36. Kathy May 26, 2011 at 11:59 pm #

    Lol! No Eumaios.. Good pick up. You’re on the ball, mate. :D

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