Wedding reception dance floor gender ratios.

22 Jun

Around 8:30pm, there were about 10 women for every man on the dance floor.

Around 9:30pm, there were about 3 women for every man.

Around 11:00pm, there were about 0.1 women for every man.

Men don’t dance until they’re three sheets to the wind, at which point it doesn’t matter to them if women are involved or not.

Also, all the old people cleared out by 9:30, so the DJ stopped playing any music my parents recognized.  Explaining to my mother that the name of the song was “Yeah!” turned into a sort-of “Who’s on first?” experience.  Also, my dad was utterly perplexed at the song he thought was called “The Huffty Huff.”

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25 Responses to “Wedding reception dance floor gender ratios.”

  1. Badger June 22, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    So this was the reception of a wedding blessed by an evangelical church, and for the enjoyment of the crowd the DJ played “The Humpty Dance?” The one whose first line is “do me baby”?

  2. Aunt Haley June 22, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    The wedding was not an evangelical wedding, nor was it held in an evangelical church.

    A typical evangelical wedding would be held at the bride’s home church, followed immediately by a meal/cake in the church’s Fellowship Hall. No dancing, no alcohol.

  3. Langobard June 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    A typical evangelical wedding would be held at the bride’s home church, followed immediately by a meal/cake in the church’s Fellowship Hall. No dancing, no alcohol.

    This sure as heck beats the $25-30,000 price tag for a ‘wedding’ in the big-city areas – particularly New York and the northeast – especially with all their ‘ethnic diversity’ and the status-concerns (anxiety) of such ‘vibrant’ areas.

  4. Aunt Haley June 22, 2011 at 7:56 pm #

    This sure as heck beats the $25-30,000 price tag for a ‘wedding’ in the big-city areas

    “Big-city”? Even in the Midwest, a “nice” wedding can easily set you back that much, unless you’re talking about a wedding with a small number of guests.

  5. y81 June 22, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Having the wedding at the bride’s home church is fairly universal and not, as we say, an evangelical distinctive. Do I infer correctly that (i) the bride is not an evangelical Christian, (ii) Haley stayed at the party until 11:30 and (iii) alas, she was only sitting with her parents, rather than dancing with a cute usher?

  6. Aunt Haley June 22, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    y81–
    (i) As far as I know, she is not.
    (ii) Yes, my parents and I stayed to help clean up afterward.
    (iii) I danced with my dad a few times!

  7. Plowboy June 23, 2011 at 7:56 am #

    Wedding receptions, in my experience, are vastly overrated as a venue to meet other single people, whether dancing and alcohol are available or not.

  8. Aunt Haley June 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    Wedding receptions, in my experience, are vastly overrated as a venue to meet other single people, whether dancing and alcohol are available or not.

    Agreed. I think that in general, too, young people stick to their friends and don’t put much effort into meeting strangers or spending time with people they don’t already know well.

  9. Nautilus June 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    This has been my experience too. I’ve been to and shot more weddings than I care to admit. (No, not Godfather style.) Invariably there are more women than men on the dance floor when the DJ opens it up. On that note, you’re paying the DJ to be there, but don’t sell out and have him play the same frakking music as the last 10 weddings he’s played at. Be original, your guests will most likely appreciate it. Oh, and an open bar at the reception equals great dancing photos and/or blackmail.

    If you can enjoy dancing as a single guy, (I don’t until the vodka sinks in) and don’t dance like you’re Whitey McCracker, it’s instant ‘bed-cred’ with the ladies. Some women think by being a good dancer, that skill automatically transfers into the bedroom. Wedding receptions are the socially acceptable venue to rock your dance moves with women that don’t frequent clubs or bars.

    The most tragic thing I’ve witnessed at a reception was an AMAZING swing band, with no dancing and no alcohol. Swing dancing is the bomb. Oh well.

  10. OffTheCuff June 23, 2011 at 6:53 pm #

    No surprise there. Maybe it’s more accurate to say most men don’t dance until other people drunk. There is a high social cost for men to dance without a high degree of skill — so it’s just best stay away, unless you actually know how. Women don’t have to worry about this.

    Of course, this ratio is not remotely true at *friendly* dances, where being a male beginner is not a social crime. Most dances I’ve been to are evenly matched, heck, even I get asked by women often enough.

  11. lifeinlonglegs June 24, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    “… held at the bride’s home church, followed immediately by a meal/cake in the church’s Fellowship Hall. No dancing, no alcohol.”

    No lag time before sex.

  12. Hermes June 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm #

    A typical evangelical wedding would be held at the bride’s home church, followed immediately by a meal/cake in the church’s Fellowship Hall. No dancing, no alcohol.

    Well, I’ve been to many evangelical weddings over the past several years; all the receptions were held at country clubs or other typical venues, alcohol was served at most, and dancing was offered at all. Reading what you say makes me wonder if there still exists, somewhere out there, the more conservative social mileu that I was trying to find by moving from the East Coast to the Midwest.

  13. Aunt Haley June 25, 2011 at 8:31 am #

    Hermes–
    Were these “old evangelical” families? A lot of times if it’s a family where the parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents are church legacies, a more traditional wedding will take place. Newer converts are less likely not to drink or dance. Although I did attend a childhood church friend’s wedding a few years ago, and her reception was held at a local restaurant commonly used for receptions – and while there was dancing, there was no alcohol, which GREATLY pleased my mother.

  14. y81 June 25, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    “if it’s a family where the parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents are church legacies, a more traditional wedding will take place.”

    That’s changing the story a little bit, no? What percentage of evangelical Christians have evangelical great-grandparents? I would guess it’s not that high. In my experience, the flock is gathered mostly from the children of the lost sheep. Meanwhile, the children of the twice-born tend to drift off into finance or transcendentalism or some such.

  15. The Man Who Was . . . June 25, 2011 at 11:20 pm #

    Most converts to evangelicalism don’t truly come from non-religious backgrounds. There has a been a great consolidation of conservative believers from mainline Protestant and mushy Catholic backgrounds into evangelical churches. Though doctrinally conservative, and morally conservative too on big issues like premarital sex, they often bring with them more relaxed attitudes on things like alcohol or dancing. Also, as conservative ethnic Protestants (Lutherans, Dutch Reformed) have become more integrated into broader evangelicalism they have tended to bring their beer loving ways into the mix as well.

  16. y81 June 26, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    Man who Was: That may be true. It would certainly cover my wife and me, i.e., we are from mainline backgrounds but too doctrinally conservative to remain happy there in the current era. It still cuts against the prevalence of fourth generation evangelicals.

    BTW, mainline Protestants and Catholics fall under my definition of “lost sheep.”

  17. Hana June 26, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    “Also, as conservative ethnic Protestants (Lutherans, Dutch Reformed) have become more integrated into broader evangelicalism they have tended to bring their beer loving ways into the mix as well.”

    I grew up “Dutch Reformed” (ie. in a Dutch Christian Reformed Church), and wine has been served at every wedding I’ve ever attended. There’s usually dancing as well.

    We Dutch and our “beer loving ways”…corrupting the evangelical church! ;)

  18. Aunt Haley June 26, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    Hana–
    We Dutch and our “beer loving ways”…corrupting the evangelical church! ;)

    The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Congrats!

    (No wonder the Pilgrims decided not to stay in the Netherlands. Ha!)

  19. Svar June 27, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    @ y81

    Catholics are lost sheep? Aren’t prots the bunch that decided to split of from the Catholic Church. Unless, you’re Orthodox Christian, what you’re saying doesn’t make sense.

  20. theprivateman June 30, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    About dancing…

    Since we have no long automatically teach our children proper couples dances, we have the jerky, nonrhythmic, physical flounderings that so many men loathe. Frankly, without training, the typical anglo-saxon man resembles a fast moving zombie set to a horrible “beat”. Small wonder guys need some dutch courage to get out the dance floor.

    Go to a latin wedding reception. The men know all about dancing because it was taught to them by older family members. As a bonus, Latinas dance with a sensuality that is stunning contrast to the wild, vaguely coordinated motions of anglo women.

    I have but one rule about dancing – if the partners aren’t touching in a choreographed way, it’s not dancing and I ain’t doing it.

  21. lifeinlonglegs June 30, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    “if the partners aren’t touching in a choreographed way, it’s not dancing and I ain’t doing it.”

    Exactly. Weddings pretty much end as soon as the music is turned up these days – all the old folks leave and it’s not really a family affair anymore. What fun is that?

  22. detinennui32 July 4, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    Privateman has the right idea about public dancing. In general, most people don’t know how to dance, even though they think they do.

    A man should know ballroom dancing. He should know the waltz, the two-step and the polka. He should know how to lead with the left hand pushing and pulling, and the right hand on her back or hip, guiding her. He should know how to twirl and dip. When he gets more advance he should learn the tango, the cha-cha, the Charleston, and the jitterbug. .

    A man should never dance the following, especially in public: the Chicken Dance, the “Clap Your Hands” dance, the Macarena, the Electric Slide, or any type of country line dancing.

  23. y81 July 5, 2011 at 8:11 am #

    “Wedding receptions, in my experience, are vastly overrated as a venue to meet other single people, whether dancing and alcohol are available or not.”

    My wife and I were discussing this over the weekend, prompted by an article in the New Yorker about on-line dating/matchmaking services. Of the couples we know and know how they met, about 10% (say 3 out of 30) met at wedding receptions.

    A back of the envelope calculation, John Allen Paulos style, based on our small but fairly random sample, suggests as follows. If one out of ten people meets their spouse at a wedding reception, and if you figure that a typical young adult attends 25 wedding receptions during the marrying years (say 18 to 35), then there is a one in 250 chance of meeting your spouse at any particular wedding reception. Not very good, but if you figure that there are 5000 days of young adulthood, so you have a 1 in 5000 chance of meeting your spouse on an average day, then attending a wedding reception increases your chances twentyfold over a typical day.

  24. Plowboy July 5, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    y81,

    I think you need to take an introductory statistics class. You seem to be assuming that a) everyone has an equal chance to meet someone at a wedding reception; b) every wedding reception is equal in terms of the likelihood of meeting someone; c) everyone has an equal chance of meeting someone during those 5000 days of Young adulthood; and d) that those 5000 days each represent an equal opportunity to meet someone. I don’t think any of that can be assumed in most people’s lives. I won’t accuse you of being the figuring liar, but I think you had better stay away from games of chance.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Cockblocked By My Own Dog « The Private Man - July 10, 2011

    […] – I have a very, very strict rule about dancing. I’ve even posted my rule over at Haley’s Halo: If the partners aren’t touching in a choreographed way, it’s not dancing and I ain’t doing […]

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