His churchly dating status: a table.

22 Jul

How the average churchly single girl sees her options.

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11 Responses to “His churchly dating status: a table.”

  1. y81 July 22, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    Two questions:

    First of all, this smells of the lamp, as they say. I suspect that Haley’s church is not, in fact, filled with hot guys who are dating her pretty best friend. Is it?

    Second, which way does the chart work? Is it that the guys two SMVs up are, in fact, already married? Or is it that being married to a babe moves the guy up two SMVs in the churchly girl’s eyes?

  2. Chris July 23, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    Haley, you really need to produce your code. Just to help you out — if average marriage value is 5 and the standard deviation is 1.5 then. (for girlz, dear)

    10: Married. Saint. All children are perfect. Still hot. If exists, all women in church jealous of her.
    9: Good looking, sane, married to leader in church.
    8: The youth pastor’s wife.
    7: Although she is a good girl, she is either needy or clingy.
    6: The nerd Christian girl.
    5: Has problems. Probably not looking after self.
    4: Divorced. early 40s. Wonders why her husband has left the church.
    3: Was on the carosel for years. Entitled, materialistic. Probably superb in bed, and generally good looking, but godly does not exist in her dictionary.
    2: Onto second or third divorce, has kids.
    1: Did not marry, multiple kids, emotionally and mentally unstable. Any sane man will run away.

    Does that help?

  3. Daya July 23, 2011 at 6:05 am #

    I don’t really agree with this table. I have found a distinct difference between the men who pursue me in the WMP (world marketplace) and the CMP (Christian marketplace). In DC, we have a culture of relatively lower SMP people who are extremely successful in their careers and lifestyle. In the CMP, the men know they could be very successful providers and are blinded to their true SMP, betas who seem hypergamous to me. This leads to extreme parity issues. I raised this issue on Boundless once, about how a 5 male can’t demand a 9-10 church girl just because he went to an ivy league school and has an important job on Capital Hill. And vice versa – females do this too. Sometimes I wonder if Christian male viewing of porn while single leads to an unrealistic idea of the SMP of the woman they can get. Can anyone enlighten me?

    I discussed parity from different angles once on Boundless and OH HOW DARE I BE THAT SHALLOW. Those beta virgin 5s do NOT deserve anything less than a virgin 10! Won’t comment on there for awhile.

    I do agree that in the CMP, the men with the highest SMP are already married, or divorced. The one hot guy I know at church sleeps around alot with non-Christian women so he doesn’t count. I really cant think of any men who have as high an SMP at church as the men I meet in the WMP. So that skews everything.

  4. Hana July 23, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    Daya – you might have an interesting point, actually. People say that Christian girls have high expectations, while non-Christian girls are more open-minded. But, from my own experience, I think it might be true of Christian vs. non-Christian men as well (and yes, guys are less picky about who they sleep with; but I think non-Christian men are also less picky about who they date). I think it partly comes down to the difference between dating and marriage. I think Christian men and women often approach relationships as a search for “the one”, so they come with a long list of boxes that have to be checked. Non-Christians, on the other hand, aren’t necessarily thinking about a lifetime commitment, so their list of criteria is shorter.

  5. Aunt Haley July 23, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    y81–
    Or is it that being married to a babe moves the guy up two SMVs in the churchly girl’s eyes?

    How would a churchly guy score a churchly babe if he weren’t already SMV++++?

    Daya–
    In Boundlessland, prayer and character can overcome any SMV deficiencies. For either sex.

    The one hot guy I know at church sleeps around alot with non-Christian women so he doesn’t count.

    He probably rationalizes non-Christian notches by patting himself on the back for not corrupting good churchly girls, a.k.a. the girls who still need to exist when he’s ready to start a respectable family.

    Hana–
    I think Christian men and women often approach relationships as a search for “the one”, so they come with a long list of boxes that have to be checked. Non-Christians, on the other hand, aren’t necessarily thinking about a lifetime commitment, so their list of criteria is shorter.

    QFT. That’s why Christian dating is so high-pressure. Serious Christians don’t date for fun, so asking for a date (and accepting a date) is fraught with a lot of social and political implications, especially in a smaller church where everyone knows everyone else’s business.

  6. detinennui32 July 23, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    In my experience, there is absolutely no difference at all between the CMP and the overall SMP. Christian girls still want the hot alpha stud and it did not matter whether he was churched or unchurched.

    And the Christian girls I knew would willingly bed the alphas, while casually dismissing the betas as worthless.

  7. theprivateman July 24, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    Reading this blog has me intensely curious about the Christian mega-churches which seem so popular down in my area. All these churches have a variety of singles ministries and many have singles activities. Of course many of these activities involve studying scripture but I might find that interesting as scripture is indeed fascinating from both an historical viewpoint and a cultural one.

  8. Ingemar July 25, 2011 at 8:35 am #

    It seems to me that you’re anxious to get laid, and while you seem to need your faith, ultimately you consider it a fetter. Why not slut yourself up and nail the first man you see?

  9. Aunt Haley July 25, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Private Man–
    Megachurches usually have groups for older singles/widowed/divorced. These, I suspect, probably have a higher percentage of “fell off the church wagon/unchurched, now coming back to the faith”ers, which means, on the whole, less biblical and doctrinal knowledge, more emphasis on feelings, and more emphasis on self-help Jesus. More likely, socioeconomically, to have more middle/lower middle class members than upper middle/upper. (Not that this is set in stone by any means, but it’s my general observation of church demographic trends.)

    Anyhow, if you do visit a megachurch, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

    Ingemar–
    Why not slut yourself up and nail the first man you see?

    Well, when you couch it in such irresistibly attractive terms, I really start to question my choices in life.

  10. Langobard July 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    Well, when you couch it in such irresistibly attractive terms, I really start to question my choices in life.

    LMAO

    Excellent parry and reposte

  11. Langobard July 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    reposte

    Meant riposte

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