I found the following on one of the message boards I like to lurk on. The typical poster is a lower-to-middle middle-class woman in her 20s or 30s, unmarried, trying to get started in her profession, and desperately wanting love if not in a long-term relationship with a boyfriend. She tends to be non-religious, or nominally so, and believes in the usual feminist dogma about sex and sexuality. All of these characteristics come to the fore in this thread, which aptly chronicles how feminist ideas about sex and sexuality just end up hurting women far more than helping them.
In a post entitled “Tell me to freaking get over it. Tell me to let it go.”, OP writes that she went on four dates with an alpha she REALLY REALLY liked, had sex with him on the fourth date, and – surprise, surprise! – now he’s dropped off the face of the planet. She says:
He hasn’t responded. I know. I KNOW. Drop it. I should get over it. I shouldn’t press for details. It’s pretty obvious that he’s not interested.
I guess I just wanted to vent. I’m cool with rejection; really, I am. I’m used to it. But I wish he would have at least told me he wasn’t interested instead of dropping off the face of the planet.
I’m sad that I rock in every other aspect of my life (well…career-wise, at least), but I can’t do the relationship thing at all. I’m just super bummed and down in the dumps about this. I feel like such a stupid freaking whore.
So she’s cool with rejection and is actually used to being rejected, but super bummed at the same time. Poor hamster. Women conditioned to believe in sex equality (or whatever you want to call it) constantly find themselves fighting their natures, as OP is here.
The responses read like a recitation of feminist sisterhood catechisms.
Totally been there, like 100 times. It sucks, but yeah – you’ve already given yourself the best advice you can: let it go.
“Like 100 times?”?????????
I think its typical people sleep together on the 3 or 4 date so you’re not a whore. Don’t feel that way.
Everyone knows you need to go on three or four dates with someone to prevent accusations of whore-dom. Two dates = WHORE. Three dates = NOT A WHORE. Those extra three hours you spent consuming carbs with a guy make all the difference.
Still, OP’s hamster is really torn up:
I just really want to know WHY. I want to know exactly what it is I did wrong so I won’t make the same mistake with the next guy. If there is a next guy.
Thanks to feminism and the sexual revolution, women honestly don’t know why having sex with a very attractive man they’re not married to or even “in a committed relationship with” (whatever that means) generally tends to result in the man’s vanishing. In the olden days, mothers and grandmothers would warn their daughters about being fast. But I guess in an age where that kind of advice is the unjust repression of the patriarchy and three dates is enough to qualify as not-a-whore, such male behavior is truly, genuinely baffling to women and is completely inexplicable based on their understanding of reality. Which, as the regulars of this blog know, is not really reality.
In true feminist fashion, the next three responders blame the man:
You didn’t do anything wrong. You liked a guy, you slept with him. That’s normal. He’s just an ass to act this way. He’s the one that’s done something wrong. I think every girl has been there at least once so don’t be so hard on yourself.
It’s nothing you did. There’s nothing wrong with you.
He’s just an asshole for not responding.
Let it go and don’t beat yourself up over it.—–
Feel happy that you avoided being stuck with a little coward pansy of a man.
Not that what the guy in this scenario did was right, but these responses just illuminates the cognitive dissonance of feminism. Women are strong and fierce and independent, except when those dastardly men enter the picture and destroy all that strength, fierceness, and independence.
Another responder tries the hamster:
I’m not trying to encourage or anything but is it possible he’s stuck at work? Something might have come up?
He’s a coward at the end of the day, he should have been straight up with you. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Live and learn.
Finally, on post #17, someone states the obvious:
Guys like a challenge and I’m sure he figures if you did it that fast with him you probably have with other guys and guys are weird about that. THEY can do it but a girl is a whore if she does
I think, though, that the most significant aspect of this thread demonstrating the widespread absorption of feminist doctrine on sex and sexuality is that not a single poster advised OP not to have sex and that she could secure the highest-quality man that she could by withholding. Instead, thanks to feminist sexuality, women are now tasked with finding a sexy man who will commit to her because she gives him sex. I’m pretty sure success at a unicorn hunt is more likely. So what we have on college campuses and in teachers’ lounges and in office cubicles is women who are encouraged to have sex because they want it, but who must somehow try to divine that a sexy man will give them commitment even as the women are giving him sex, and fight all her feelings that she’s being a whore. What a recipe for happiness and contentment!
When I read stuff like this, it just reminds me that God knew what he was doing when He made rules for sex.