Celebrity divorce and the differences between men and women.

17 Dec

So, anyone who cares about sports has probably heard that after ten years of marriage, Vanessa Bryant has finally decided to divorce Kobe since the latter can’t stop taking advantage of his apex male status and banging other women.  This was a very stupid decision on Kobe’s part, since he and Vanessa have no pre-nup limiting what Vanessa will now be entitled to in divorce.  Since California is a community property state, everything Kobe the couple earned during the marriage is now up for grabs in a 50/50 split between the two.  And since Kobe made the majority of his wealth during the past ten years, Vanessa is legally entitled to a huge payday (I’ve seen an estimate of $180 million), which most women would agree is not bad work for ten years of getting cheated on and enduring a husband’s rape accusation.

Although most women find Vanessa’s expected take from the divorce to be exorbitant, they won’t argue with it (much) or look down on her for it.  After all, she’s never been in the media for bad behavior or sought out personal fame through a reality show.  She seems to have been a good basketball wife, having babies and staying beautiful.  Additionally, all of her adult life, starting at age 17, Vanessa Bryant has been Kobe’s girlfriend or wife, so she never went to college or worked and has no backlog of work skills or experience.  Only a cold-hearted person would demand that as a victim of adultery, she go on public assistance after divorcing.

This sympathy lies in stark contrast to the universal derision Kevin Federline gets for receiving spousal support from Britney Spears for their two-year marriage.

If men and women were truly the same and only cultural conditioning explained sex differences, then why does Kevin Federline receive scorn, but Vanessa Bryant is probably going to come out of the divorce smelling like a rose?  Both married famous, successful people and are now (or will be, in Vanessa’s case) living off the legally obligated largesse of their ex-spouses.  Yet Federline continues to be the butt of jokes, whereas any accusations of gold-digging on Vanessa’s part will be mitigated by Kobe’s cheating.  Really, the only explanation is that men and women are different and have different attractiveness triggers:  men are valued for their ability to provide for women and children, and no amount of social conditioning is ever going to make that go away – not that it seems that anyone is trying to make that go away.  Even the staunchest feminists probably think Federline is a loser, even though he isn’t doing anything uncommon to the ex-wives of successful men.  (Of course, staunch feminists probably look down on women who aren’t working, either, but then they’re just using masculine standards to measure women’s achievements, which just points again to the differences between the sexes.)

Food for thought:  Is Kevin Federline an alpha by Roissy’s definition?  If alphadom is measured by a man’s ability to get sex, then surely Kevin Federline is doing a pretty good job of it.  The man is only 33 and has five children by three different women, and I would expect that if his current woman doesn’t work out, he’ll find yet another woman who will have babies with him.  Yes, he’s famous (or at least notorious) now, but when he had his first two kids, he wasn’t famous.  And he wasn’t famous when he met Britney.

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15 Responses to “Celebrity divorce and the differences between men and women.”

  1. modernguy December 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Yeah, Federline is definitely an alpha. In fact he’s the prototypical degenerate “bad boy”
    that served as the instigating cause for the development of game. “How can women be so stupid!” He’s obviously a no-talent loser, yet he’s got kids by three different women while the math genius on the computer next to me has yet to even kiss a female. Clearly, phenomena ripe for scientific investigation.

  2. Jennifer December 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Vanesse will finally what she deserves from the marriage. But anyone who criticizes Kevin for wanting his equal share is foolish.

  3. deti December 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    Spot on, Haley. It’s good to see that others recognize this. I wonder if his receipt of alimony from Britney Spears is one reason he continues to garner attention.

    Feminists got more than they wished for in Federline. Fairness, justice and equality are bitter pills to swallow sometimes. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

  4. jack December 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    Alpha.

    He got to sex the daylights out of a pop tart in her physical prime.

  5. Aunt Haley December 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    jack–
    No, that was Justin Timberlake. Federline got JT’s sloppy seconds.

  6. Will S. December 17, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

    Spot on, Haley.

  7. dragnet December 17, 2011 at 6:32 pm #

    By PUA standards, K-Fed is definitely alpha. He gets young, hot, wealthy women to sex him and bear his offspring.

    As for Vanessa Bryant—it is absolutely ridiculous that she could get 180 million dollars. But I don’t really feel sorry for Kobe—he should’ve known better.

    If you want a real example of how celebrity should handle marriage, look at Magic Johnson. Play around for years and then marry when your career is over and the bulk of your vast wealth has already been made. Then, even in divorce, she can’t touch most of it.

  8. Blair December 18, 2011 at 8:53 am #

    I think Vanessa deserves whatever she gets. Lets remember that Kevine Federline was with Brittany later on in her career. Her relationship with Federline was the beginning of her down fall, she is just now recovering from it. Kobe and Vanessa were married 11 years and together almost 12. They were toghether during the height of his success. The public support she gave him during the rape accusation played a huge role in him recovering a positive public image. I wonder if those who think a huge payday for Vanessa is inappropriate think women should work after having children. I wonder because in my own experience there are a lot of men who get all bent out of shape when they a hear a wife got a huge divorce settelment, but they think women should be stay at home moms too. That opinion seems a bit hypocritical to me.

  9. OffTheCuff December 18, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    Sex be damned – neither Federline or this chick deserve such a huge portion of a superstar’s earnings. Alimony should only be relative to your own earning ability.

  10. A December 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    Federline is definitely an alpha in terms of SMV. But the strategy he used was not the traditional high social status alpha, but what is referred to in the scientific community as the sneaky f***er strategy.

  11. A December 18, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    Britney was 23 when she married Federline and 20-25 is a woman’s physical prime.

  12. Chris December 19, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    Erk, the laws in the US are stupid. But California is where the dollars are. Combine this with a certain narcassism (required to be an actor) and the loss of IQ you get from starving yourself down (it comes back when you eat, which is good, but most actresses starve themselves until they look like boys) and the family court has to deal with what are functionally primary aged schoolchildren who now have money, lawyers and (worse of all) children.

    If you think Federline is alpha, I have a bridge in Manhatten going cheap. And Britney was, at her best, the equivelant of Miley Cyrus (who is going down the same path).

    Split the money, sort out child care, and get on with your life. Being married for two or three years does not mean you can claim the others income for ever. (if you beleive that, then I want wage inequality since it is clear that women cannot earn enough to support themselves).

    Better still. be faithful. Keep your vows. Living well together is the best revenge… because divorces, outside Hollywood, really hurt.

  13. Strong Man December 19, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    Good points about the inequities of social treatment of men and women. Even feminists have more respect for men who are capable providers.

    Both Federline and Kobe are terrible examples of marriages. I don’t care if Federline is an “alpha,” or not. Sure, he’s an incredible pick-up artist. Amazing, actually. A relative loser could snag Brittany, using whatever techniques he used–for a little while anyway.

    But, he’s absolutely not an example of good manhood, and I doubt he’s actually satisfied and happy with himself.

    It’s yet another example of a ridiculous choice by a woman who could have any man in the world. Why would she choose a relative loser? Baffles me.

    This situation is an excellent life example of my post on The Truth About Men and Modesty. Immodesty attracts a different kind of man than modest attractiveness does.

    Kobe and Vanessa highlight the problems of sex before marriage. No commitment to your vows before marriage likely leads to little commitment after.

    For this reason, I don’t follow Hollywood lifestyles–they’re generally a disaster zone, and role models are rare, especially today.

    Perhaps Bill Cosby? He’d have a few things to say to Kobe and Federlake.

  14. Jennifer December 20, 2011 at 6:20 am #

    Good points, Strong Man.

  15. The Reluctant Monogamist January 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    While I agree in principal (very, very strongly. I’m all about equality) you can’t really compare the two cases. In the Kobe/Vanessa marriage, there is over a decade of marriage and the fact that she knew him way back when. She was instrumental in his success. K-Fed on the other had hung in for a couple of years and was actually a detriment to her career.

    If all things were equal here, I would be all for K-Fed getting the full 50/50. The social stigma attached to a man that doesn’t work to stay home with the kids, or a man that made less than a woman and gets alimony awarded to him is so very harmful. And I say this as a woman that is staring down the barrel of years and years of alimony payments. The fact that he stayed at home and held down the fort for all those years is the only reason I’ve gotten as far in my career as I have.

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