Over the holidays, I found out that one of my brother’s longtime friends is getting divorced from his wife (but not until after they file their taxes). I’m pretty sure everyone could see this coming, since there have been rumblings for a long time that both have been miserable, and basically the wife showed up at my brother’s wedding with her boobs out to there. The best man also told me that she cheats on her husband all the time and goes out partying a lot. I don’t know how he would know that, but that’s the hearsay.
Anyhow, this is one of those situations where there was a third party involved. The wife works across the street from a fire department, and the girls from the office would go over and flirt with the firefighters at lunchtime. The wife got friendly with a firefighter, and while I don’t know if there was any physical cheating going on, there was definitely a texting relationship, and when the husband told her to ditch the firefighter friend, the wife said no.
This is the second marriage in my brother’s friend circle that has fallen prey to firefighter mojo. Several years ago one of my brother’s other good friends married his high school sweetheart who also happened to be one of the prettiest girls at school. Said friend porked out after getting married while the wife, who was a teacher, met the dad of one of her students. Said dad was a firefighter. The wife started working out. Guess what happened.
Also while we’re on the topic of divorce (I know, not a very up way to start the year, but it was on my mind), I have an update on Morf and Bee. My mom told me that Bee has a new boyfriend already, and that Morf proved his beta-ness once again by HAVING DINNER WITH THEM. If I were Morf, I would have accidentally set fire to Bee’s residence or unintentionally worn some brass knuckles when I greeted Bee’s face with my fist. The divorce has hit Morf so badly that he has moved to the West Coast to work for his company out here.
Some food for thought about all of the above scenarios:
- Divorce-after-taxes couple got married quite young, and I had had the impression that the husband was just desperate to get married at the time and took the first woman who would have him. This, I think, is part of why mainstream conventional wisdom recommends that people don’t get married until their mid-20s. But that’s really just a proxy for having the maturity to be proactive and purposeful about finding a mate who is really marriage material. Age itself isn’t a guarantee of anything.
- High school sweetheart couple were an instance where they began dating freshman year of high school and didn’t marry until they graduated college. They had never dated anyone else, and while the husband might have looked like an apex alpha at a small high school, when he got out in the real world, it turns out he wasn’t. Meanwhile, the wife figured out that she was still cute enough and young enough to get more alpha than she had at home. Not that I hear that the firefighter has married her yet.
- Bee hadn’t even graduated from college yet when she married Morf, and I remember remarking at the time that I thought she was too young. Bee also is an only child of divorced parents and used to getting her own way all the time. Oh, and Bee and Morf recited their own vows at their wedding, which included a recounting of how Bee “just knew” when she first set eyes on Morf. DON’T WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS. They will never be better than traditional vows.
I hope everyone had a terrific Christmas and New Year’s Day. It’s good to be back.