Don’t let your wife befriend a firefighter!

4 Jan

Over the holidays, I found out that one of my brother’s longtime friends is getting divorced from his wife (but not until after they file their taxes).  I’m pretty sure everyone could see this coming, since there have been rumblings for a long time that both have been miserable, and basically the wife showed up at my brother’s wedding with her boobs out to there.  The best man also told me that she cheats on her husband all the time and goes out partying a lot.  I don’t know how he would know that, but that’s the hearsay.

Anyhow, this is one of those situations where there was a third party involved.  The wife works across the street from a fire department, and the girls from the office would go over and flirt with the firefighters at lunchtime.  The wife got friendly with a firefighter, and while I don’t know if there was any physical cheating going on, there was definitely a texting relationship, and when the husband told her to ditch the firefighter friend, the wife said no.

This is the second marriage in my brother’s friend circle that has fallen prey to firefighter mojo.  Several years ago one of my brother’s other good friends married his high school sweetheart who also happened to be one of the prettiest girls at school.  Said friend porked out after getting married while the wife, who was a teacher, met the dad of one of her students.  Said dad was a firefighter.  The wife started working out.  Guess what happened.

Also while we’re on the topic of divorce (I know, not a very up way to start the year, but it was on my mind), I have an update on Morf and Bee.  My mom told me that Bee has a new boyfriend already, and that Morf proved his beta-ness once again by HAVING DINNER WITH THEM.  If I were Morf, I would have accidentally set fire to Bee’s residence or unintentionally worn some brass knuckles when I greeted Bee’s face with my fist.  The divorce has hit Morf so badly that he has moved to the West Coast to work for his company out here.

Some food for thought about all of the above scenarios:

  • Divorce-after-taxes couple got married quite young, and I had had the impression that the husband was just desperate to get married at the time and took the first woman who would have him.  This, I think, is part of why mainstream conventional wisdom recommends that people don’t get married until their mid-20s.  But that’s really just a proxy for having the maturity to be proactive and purposeful about finding a mate who is really marriage material.  Age itself isn’t a guarantee of anything.
  • High school sweetheart couple were an instance where they began dating freshman year of high school and didn’t marry until they graduated college.  They had never dated anyone else, and while the husband might have looked like an apex alpha at a small high school, when he got out in the real world, it turns out he wasn’t.  Meanwhile, the wife figured out that she was still cute enough and young enough to get more alpha than she had at home.  Not that I hear that the firefighter has married her yet.
  • Bee hadn’t even graduated from college yet when she married Morf, and I remember remarking at the time that I thought she was too young.  Bee also is an only child of divorced parents and used to getting her own way all the time.  Oh, and Bee and Morf recited their own vows at their wedding, which included a recounting of how Bee “just knew” when she first set eyes on Morf.  DON’T WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS.  They will never be better than traditional vows.

I hope everyone had a terrific Christmas and New Year’s Day.  It’s good to be back.

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15 Responses to “Don’t let your wife befriend a firefighter!”

  1. dkb January 4, 2012 at 10:42 am #

    Welcome back! I missed reading your updates! As usual, I love the post….keep it up!

  2. John January 4, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

    And if she is good looking and works at a Doctor’s office, you may as well save yourself the pain and get divorced now. Hypergamy on steroids.

  3. David January 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Dinner wouldn’t be so bad if children were in the picture, but if Mort’s childless, the correct response to a request to have dinner with his ex-wife and her new man starts with a capital F!

    Size of the crowd can make all the difference in how alpha one appears. I attend two services, a small traditional one and a large churchian one. I’m the most alpha college aged guy (out of 3) in the small service, but the large one contains a few church alphas. Consequently, I am nothing special in the larger service despite similar sex ratios.

  4. Shalita January 5, 2012 at 5:05 am #

    Totally agree on the vows thing! I came across your blog randomly and have been reading a few posts. Thanks for the insight and the lols :D

  5. deti January 5, 2012 at 6:37 am #

    Firefighter mojo? They’ve never seen Fireproof.

  6. John January 5, 2012 at 8:10 am #

    It’s sad that so many folks these days have forgotten that vows are supposed to be solemn promises and not just frilly feel-good mantras. As for the wives who started working out, meeting new people, getting dressed up… that sounds an awful lot like some of the the cases Athol deals with over on his blog (divergent SMP ranks).

  7. Aunt Haley January 5, 2012 at 8:44 am #

    deti–
    Oh, snap!

    John–
    At least in a couple of cases that was true.

  8. Jennifer January 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    LOL I thought if Fireproof too. Though, as that movie proves, while firemen are awesome, the kind of attraction Haley describes here is partly pure fantasy: women seeing these men as all buff, constantly using those big muscles to rescue people and lift heavy equipment; not so. Again, firemen are amazing people, but not every one of them (or any person) is defined in their personal life by their jobs. The wife in Fireproof was unhappy with her husband’s actions outside his job.

  9. Jennifer January 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    “Dinner wouldn’t be so bad if children were in the picture, but if Mort’s childless, the correct response to a request to have dinner with his ex-wife and her new man starts with a capital F!”

    Amen to that.

  10. Mark Slater January 5, 2012 at 7:27 pm #

    “Again, firemen are amazing people, but not every one of them (or any person) is defined in their personal life by their jobs.”

    I dunno, Jennifer; there’s a lot to that. It ought to be a HUGE danger for any man if his lady started taking an interest in a another man especially in the high-class professions. As I see it, here are these professions in ascending order of studliness:

    4. Doctor or professor

    3. Musician or artist

    2. Firefighter or Cowboy

    1. U.S. Air Force fighter pilot

  11. Jennifer January 5, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    True, Mark, just saying we never know. Doctors can be awesome, or total douches with inflated pride; professors can be brilliant or arrogant pricks, artists can be anti-social. I tend to think positvely about all of them, just sayin’.

  12. Hermes January 7, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    and when the husband told her to ditch the firefighter friend, the wife said no.

    Isn’t this an alpha move that the manosphere is always telling men to make on their wayward wives? Confront her and demand that she stop, instead of being obsequious and trying to please her? Yet in this case, it didn’t work. What’s a guy to do?

    Man, I should have become a firefighter. What if a guy was a firefighter and played the guitar? He’d be the biggest alpha in the world. No woman in the universe would want any man except for him.

    Haley, the saga of Morf and Bee reminds me of that of Sam Torode and Bethany Patchin, whom I see through searching you have never mentioned on this blog. Were you a Boundless reader back in the days of their ascendancy? Both ostensibly good little Christian kids from good families, did everything right, married while the girl was still in college, then the reality of adult life with kids and financial constraints set in, the wife gets a taste of big city life, decides the feminists are right with their talk about women needing to experience independence in their twenties and “find out who they really are” before settling down to marriage, feels life with the small-town shlub she married isn’t glamorous enough for her, and divorces him.

  13. deti January 7, 2012 at 11:56 am #

    Hermes:

    “and when the husband told her to ditch the firefighter friend, the wife said no.

    Isn’t this an alpha move that the manosphere is always telling men to make on their wayward wives? Confront her and demand that she stop, instead of being obsequious and trying to please her? Yet in this case, it didn’t work. What’s a guy to do?”

    Ultimatum: “wife, it’s either the firefighter friend, or me. Make your choice now. Choose me, and you have no more contact with him. Choose him, the divorce papers will be on file tomorrow morning, and you can stay at your parents’ house tonight. While you pack, I’ll call you a cab and cut up your credit cards.”

  14. A January 7, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    Isn’t this an alpha move that the manosphere is always telling men to make on their wayward wives? Confront her and demand that she stop, instead of being obsequious and trying to please her? Yet in this case, it didn’t work.

    You will never be able to control her decision, but you have to make her choose and as soon as you can, hopefully before she can make up her mind about the other guy. That is all you can do.

    BTW when pulling this kind of move, you will always lose value. But sometimes you have to do it anyway. It’s valid as an emergency measure, but know that you will have to build your value back up after using it.

  15. WillieMaize24 January 9, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    It’s not “firefighter.” That term is so freakin’ lower division beta. She went after the guy because he was a fireMAN.

    Deti and A,
    Somehow I think that when he told her to ditch the fireman, the “she said no” part is guy talk for something that went far beyond that.

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