How Relationships Are Supposed to Work:
The job of women is to let men think that they’re in charge of everything and are the smartest and best at everything everrrrr, even though it’s really the woman running things.
The job of men is to let women think that they’re the cleverest and most charming and most capable everrrrr, even though it’s really the man running things.
The mainstream CW on dating is that you should date a lot of (or at least several) people prior to marrying so you can sample what’s out there, “learn,” and “grow.” There seems to be some sort of social law stating that you will not marry your high school sweetheart (should you be lucky enough to have one), followed by muddling through the carousel dating around during your 20s until sometime between 28 and 32 you settle down with The One. During this dating around time, you will “learn about yourself” and “learn about what you want.” The One will also during this time have been learning the same things, thus ensuring that he (or she) is truly The One.
This all sounds fine and dandy, but in practice, is this really what happens? Doesn’t everyone know girls who date jerk after jerk after jerk, all the while lamenting that they keep ending up dating jerks? Doesn’t everyone know guys whose girlfriends are all clones of each other? (For famous examples, look at Rod Stewart and all of his wives. Or Bruce Willis’s current wife, who looks like a younger version of Demi Moore. Or Leonardo DiCaprio’s string of blonde models. Or, to cite a female celebrity, Kate Hudson’s penchant for procreating only with rock stars.)
I really don’t think that people actually learn much of anything through serial dating, because if attraction is uncontrollable, then people are always going to be attracted to the same kind of thing. And that means that the person will keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Few people surprise their friends every time they start dating someone new. The only time that surprises tend to happen is when the person has had their fun and/or was scarred by the previous breakup and is now truly serious about finding a life partner. Cue manosphere screeching about carousels and leftovers – not that plenty of women haven’t had the experience of their ex turning around after the breakup and marrying the woman’s opposite mere months later.
A better strategy seems to be to sit down and think hard and shrewdly about what you want and what you absolutely need, and then target only people who fulfill that profile. But in a world where women follow the tingle and men (at least most beta men) accept scraps, such tactics seem unlikely to catch on on a wider scale….
I was talking on the phone with my mom this afternoon, and she told me that there is an older widower at church who is trying to find an older widow to date. He’s attempting the classic (and futile) church guy game plan of approaching each widow, one by one, until he can find someone who will accept. All the widows know about this, so that’s a big pre-UNselection minus. Worse, he has a poor reputation and since he has been in the church for a long time, everyone knows what his problems are. So that’s even exponentially worse pre-UNselection.
I suggested that this guy find another church, but then again, the evangelical church community in my hometown isn’t so big that word about him still wouldn’t get around. My mom, knowing that this guy spends part of the year in Florida, suggested that he might have better luck there because nobody would know him. Ouch.
The other bad thing about old widower game is that the older widower must also compete against the memories of all of the widows’ late husbands – men who married their wives when the wives were very young, were often the women’s first major loves, and who were the fathers of the women’s children. That can be a really tough act to follow. Plus, if the first husband did things right financially, the widow will have no economic incentive to remarry, either.
Bottom line: Game is for all seasons.
There’s a lot less of Game disparaging now that Jennifer is no longer commenting, but I figured now would be as good a time as any to talk about how I came around to taking the red pill.
I grew up believing the standard churchly evangelinist dogma of men and women being Equal and that dating should be very egalitarian as to who initiates and all that. (I had read an unfortunate article in a teen magazine that stated that guys LIKE it when they are asked out.) When I got to college, it didn’t take long for this advice to blow up in my face. The older I got, the more experiences I had, or my friends had, that ran counter to the prevailing C.W. Still, this wasn’t enough for me to disembark full stop from the cultural ship, though the thickness of cognitive dissonance was gradually wearing down.
It was when I read that Weekly Standard article, which subsequently led me to seek out Roissy’s blog, that everything clicked. The more I read, the more a litany of experiences made sense that I previously could never make sense of.
It explained why I had had crushes on the guys I had had crushes on, even though the crushes were hopeless and I knew they were hopeless, yet I couldn’t stop being attracted even though I wanted to.
It explained why I never was attracted to guys that I felt I should be attracted to.
It explained why I never believed girls who claimed until they were blue in the face that they couldn’t stand some guy. It explained female group behavior.
It explained why on my college campus, a handful of guys went to every single dorm dance.
It explained why it’s futile to try to convince women to walk away from truly bad relationships.
It explained why self-professed ultra-liberal feminists can rationalize away being some guy’s part-time #2 as A-OK.
It explained why I’ve seen so many guys who probably could have a wife/girlfriend at least 1 to 2 SMV points higher, if the guy would just gain a smidgen (more?) alpha attitude.
It explained why so much Christian dating advice is terrible and doesn’t work.
It explains a friend’s current endless choice, self-imposed emotional drama over two guys, neither of whom she can have, yet she has been angsting over her feelings for both of them for years. It explains why women would prefer to be stuck in an infinite dramatic loop of their own making rather than going out to face “the real world” and get serious about genuinely available options.
I’m not saying that Game is pure Natural Law, but I have yet to come across a theory that better explains the behavior of the sexes. Since I have red pilled, I’ve seen very few, if any, relationships that can’t be analyzed pretty accurately according to Game.
My feelings about Game can be summed up by this monologue by Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada:
Haley's Halo 
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