I am convinced that most bad relationships do not end because of sex goggles. They say that sex changes everything between two people, and it does…because of the sex goggles. The Bible describes this as two people becoming one flesh, but it basically means sex goggles.
Sex goggles magically add anywhere from +1 to +5 points of attractiveness to a person, which is why two homely fat people can think each other gorgeous, and why men stay with drab, frumpy, personality-free women even though it’s obvious the men could do better. Sex goggles boost the other person’s attractiveness to the point where it makes leaving the other person difficult due to the fear of not being able to find someone at least equally attractive. Sex goggles are so powerful that a lot of guys will stay with a woman who doles out very little sex, just because a woman is more attractive when you know you’re assured of sex twelve times a year rather than face the unknown of possibly having sex zero times a year. Once you put the sex goggles on, it’s hard to take them off.
I’m not saying that sex goggles are bad per se. Sex goggles are actually a feature of sex as designed by God. God designed sex to bind two people together, and how else to facilitate the longevity of that binding than by throwing sex goggles into the mix? I mean, if you’re going to grow old with someone, and growing old means you’re both going to turn into droopy, wrinkled hags, then by all means, bring on the sex goggles to make me forget I’m swapping spit with an 85-year-old geezer.
The problem that people run into with the sex goggles is when they have sex outside of God’s design. Now you too often have two people viewing each other with sex goggles who should never have been bound together. The problem is twofold: first, the sex goggles obscure all of the problems with the relationship upfront. Second, the sex goggles make it very difficult to walk away into a sexless unknown. Whenever you read stories of guys agonizing about whether or not they should commit to a woman, or girls trying to decide if Mr. Right Now can transition into being Mr. Until I Die, and there are some noticeable warning signs, you can usually determine that all the drama and dithering originates from sex goggles. I mean, think about it. If you removed sex from the equation, how easy would it be to walk away from someone who was making you miserable? Who was selfish? Who handled money poorly? Who was abusive? Who was not supportive? But if you’re wearing sex goggles, suddenly it becomes this very arduous process of trying to decide if you should stay, and it’s so complicated, and you need the advice of so many people, and you find yourself rejecting good advice even though you agree they’re right. Does this not sound like insanity? But sex goggles make it possible.
So, respect the sex goggles. Follow God’s plan and don’t put them on until you’ve tied the knot.