Sex goggles.

18 Jul

I am convinced that most bad relationships do not end because of sex goggles.  They say that sex changes everything between two people, and it does…because of the sex goggles.  The Bible describes this as two people becoming one flesh, but it basically means sex goggles.

Sex goggles magically add anywhere from +1 to +5 points of attractiveness to a person, which is why two homely fat people can think each other gorgeous, and why men stay with drab, frumpy, personality-free women even though it’s obvious the men could do better.  Sex goggles boost the other person’s attractiveness to the point where it makes leaving the other person difficult due to the fear of not being able to find someone at least equally attractive.  Sex goggles are so powerful that a lot of guys will stay with a woman who doles out very little sex, just because a woman is more attractive when you know you’re assured of sex twelve times a year rather than face the unknown of possibly having sex zero times a year.  Once you put the sex goggles on, it’s hard to take them off.

I’m not saying that sex goggles are bad per se.  Sex goggles are actually a feature of sex as designed by God.  God designed sex to bind two people together, and how else to facilitate the longevity of that binding than by throwing sex goggles into the mix?  I mean, if you’re going to grow old with someone, and growing old means you’re both going to turn into droopy, wrinkled hags, then by all means, bring on the sex goggles to make me forget I’m swapping spit with an 85-year-old geezer.

The problem that people run into with the sex goggles is when they have sex outside of God’s design.  Now you too often have two people viewing each other with sex goggles who should never have been bound together.  The problem is twofold:  first, the sex goggles obscure all of the problems with the relationship upfront.  Second, the sex goggles make it very difficult to walk away into a sexless unknown.  Whenever you read stories of guys agonizing about whether or not they should commit to a woman, or girls trying to decide if Mr. Right Now can transition into being Mr. Until I Die, and there are some noticeable warning signs, you can usually determine that all the drama and dithering originates from sex goggles.  I mean, think about it.  If you removed sex from the equation, how easy would it be to walk away from someone who was making you miserable?  Who was selfish?  Who handled money poorly?  Who was abusive?  Who was not supportive?  But if you’re wearing sex goggles, suddenly it becomes this very arduous process of trying to decide if you should stay, and it’s so complicated, and you need the advice of so many people, and you find yourself rejecting good advice even though you agree they’re right.  Does this not sound like insanity?  But sex goggles make it possible.

So, respect the sex goggles.  Follow God’s plan and don’t put them on until you’ve tied the knot.

12 Responses to “Sex goggles.”

  1. Chris July 19, 2012 at 1:24 am #

    You have just invented a new term. And yes, what you are describing is real: it was why courting couples were kept apart until the day.

  2. Wudang July 19, 2012 at 3:47 am #

    “personality-free women”

    What a fantastic wording. I´m stealing that.

  3. deti July 19, 2012 at 5:17 am #

    I don’t know. As a married man, I’d rather have no sex than grudgingly given sex once a month from a woman who can get through it only by gritting her teeth, lying back and thinking of England.

  4. Laceagate July 19, 2012 at 6:31 am #

    Haley is talking about the effects of sex goggles before marriage, and she’s right. Oftentimes couples remain together because the sex is there, regardless of how often or whether or not it’s good.

  5. M3 July 19, 2012 at 7:05 am #

    “If you removed sex from the equation, how easy would it be to walk away from someone who was making you miserable? Who was selfish? Who handled money poorly? Who was abusive? Who was not supportive?”

    Yes.. i fell into this exact same trap during my marriage. 6 months after we separated, i told my friends that in retrospect everything you noted above happened against me, the misery, the dread she instilled, her selfish behavior, her spending us into my credit line, didn’t support me during my rough times, etc..

    I called them ‘horse blinders’ instead of sex goggles but they equate the same way. It prevents you from seeing what lies on the periphery. Good article. Always look at your relationship as it stands without sex for a proper health report.

  6. Ceer July 20, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    I wouldn’t say personality-free. A woman who doesn’t think she has to show her personality to get sex, fame, money, etc.. HAS a personality. It’s arrogant and entitled.

    So much of our culture focuses on instilling beta in men, which removes sex goggles from women. Unrestrained hypergamy ensues.

  7. Aunt Haley July 20, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    Ceer —
    Some women just don’t have personalities. It has little to do with entitlement.

  8. Cane Caldo July 20, 2012 at 11:20 pm #

    I’m curious what inspired your post. Unlike other bloggers, you don’t post regularly. That tells me you’re not thinking about it all the time; working it out. It’s not a pet project, but responses to stimuli.

  9. sunshinemary July 22, 2012 at 8:17 am #

    Interesting post.

    If someone sleeps around enough, it must cloud up their sex goggles then, because it sure seems like we hear a lot about the inability to stay in a committed relationship.

  10. 39joshua9 July 22, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    A nice post Haley, which made me think of a different but related phenomenon. Call it the “Bobby Brown” problem – even though a talented singer like Whitney Houston might have known that her on-again, off-again boyfriend Brown was bad for her, because of the chemical bond she had developed with him through sex she could not bear to leave him. I suspect Rihana has this problem as well with her ex, as well as millions of other contemporary women.

  11. proclusishere August 2, 2012 at 10:34 am #


  12. Frank Wunder August 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

    I’m new to this blog, but I absolutely agree with what you wrote.

    My only hope is that Christians can read this and at least begin to think about things rather than continue to live in fear.

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