In a recent Boundless article, the author talked about how he knew upon meeting the woman who became his wife for the first time that she was The One, but that it took five dates over the course of four months for the woman to start having any romantic feelings for him. (The article also specifies that his wife at the time was 33 years old and specifically gave him a chance because she had accepted that she needed to “intentionally alter her approach and expectations” from those of her younger years.)
I think that if more Christians want to get married, they have to accept that this is how it will probably play out for them. Not so much the age factor, but just the slowness factor. It’s something that I am working on accepting. While it would be nice to meet someone who I immediately thought was good-looking, intelligent, witty, and a good conversationalist, in addition to being a devout Christian, and, most importantly, was also attracted to me AND was marriage-minded…it’s highly unlikely that all of these criteria will be met early on. Realistically, the probability is much higher that I will meet someone who is not physically off-putting and who is nice and that I can talk to, and from there it’s up to me to open my mind.
I think it’s just an issue of everybody having to swallow their pride and accept that most of us are not sexy people and therefore will not end up with someone really sexy, and that therefore the attraction discovery period could end up being lengthy. Most people are just NOT. THAT. ATTRACTIVE.
Actually, now that I think about it, four months is pretty fast in the grand scheme of things. This guy’s wife could have taken two years to decide if he was attractive. Then again, she was 33. Age is often the NOS of courtship speed.
By the way, I’m just going to reiterate my highly mansopherically unpopular opinion that you don’t need to feel IIII AMMM SOOO CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU to marry someone. Men can be equally crazy about a series of women, but only the most romantic of women are equally excited about multiple guys over the course of their lives. Especially as women age, companionship and emotional/financial stability become more important to the love mix. It’s less about feeling swept away as it is in feeling secure, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the woman doesn’t love the man or that she loves him less, or that she wishes she married someone else. It’s just more prudent.