Sometimes I think Christians would have a better chance of being understood and a lesser chance of being mocked if they would not resort to speaking in Christianese when they are trying to discuss simple concepts. Here’s a statement I found in the latest Boundless thread (a thread I would eventually like to discuss since it’s about online dating):
Treat other men and women as prized children of God and help them to guard their hearts, rather than becoming one more in the arsenal of the enemy who wants to dash their hopes about finding a Christian spouse and rob their joy in the season of singleness.
Seriously, is anyone not born and bathed in churchliness going to have any sympathy for a statement like this? (I mean, aside from the fact that the sentence is 48 words long and therefore the average American reader’s eyes glazed over 32 words ago.) The whole thing is one declamatory churchly cliche after another. ”Prized children of God”? ”Guard their hearts”? ”Arsenal of the enemy”? ”Rob their joy”? ”Season of singleness”? Who talks like this other than the churchliest of the churchly? The whole thing would have been more effective if communicated less like a blustering televangelist and more like a person you might actually speak to in real life.
I’ve noticed that in general, Christianese is a rampant affliction in evangelical circles. Who hasn’t attended a Bible study and heard someone say something to the effect of God just laid it on my heart…? Or such-and-such just touched my heart, or that just blessed my heart so much? WHO TALKS LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE???? I get that every subculture has its own jargon, but there’s something about Christianese that rankles so deeply. It overly smooths the surface of everything and speaks of things in terms of emotion. In a world full of Christianese, nothing is raw or dirty. Nothing is awkward. Nothing bleeds. Even pain is somehow blunted. For me Christianese is strangely gooey and antiseptic at the same time.
On the upside, if you are a single Christian man in intentional pursuit of God’s unspeakably precious gift of a helpmeet designed specifically for you because God is wildly passionate about His utterly beloved children, then a young woman fluent in Christianese is often a good sign that you have found a righteous candidate.