I was talking the other day with a male coworker about reading signals, and he (of course) opined that men are “easy” to understand and everything with them is very obvious. My response was that as a woman, nothing about men seems that obvious or easy to understand, plus women are prone to overanalyzing.
He said that if a man is talking to a woman, he is probably interested in her. (He thinks that women are constantly approached. I disagreed.) I said that yes, sometimes the man is interested, but what if he’s just being nice?
This did not seem to compute with my coworker. But I’d say there’s a good chance that most women have run into the “he’s just being nice” scenario, where she thought that the guy was showing some interest, typically by singling the woman out in some way (often: some mixture of one-on-one conversations, isolation, kino), but in actuality, he’s just being nice and has no interest beyond the platonic.
Male readers, have you ever been the “just being nice” guy and inspired the ire of women? (“Just being nice” is not the same as being a Nice Guy, btw.) And how can a woman tell if a guy is just being nice? Female readers, have you ever crushed on a “just being nice” guy and gotten crushed in the process? Please weigh in below. I don’t have answers to this.