“She was a winning hand.”

27 Mar

Today at work I asked my married coworker who sits in the cube next to mine if he had felt his wife was The One (or could have been The One) early on.

He replied that yes, upon first meeting her (through mutual friends), he felt that she was special.  He said that ultimately, he realized that she was a “winning hand.”***  He put it this way:

Could I have continued looking for a better hand?  Sure.  But she was a winning hand.

Probably the best meditation on settling that I’ve ever heard.

***P.S. totally not endorsing poker of course

13 Responses to ““She was a winning hand.””

  1. ar10308 March 27, 2013 at 7:57 pm #

    If you get a Full House or a Flush, 9 times out of 10 you’ll win the hand, so you wanna bet big. And you only need to win 1 to put you up big.

  2. modernguy March 27, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

    If you just keep folding every hand you get waiting for a royal flush you’re going to lose.

  3. BC March 27, 2013 at 9:56 pm #

    Hypergamy: The instinctual drive to constantly seek a better hand, combined with an acute lack of mathematical/statistical ability.

  4. y81 March 28, 2013 at 1:50 pm #

    Hmm, I didn’t have that feeling about my wife when we met, or even on our first two or three dates. That is why I keep urging those who want to get married to go on more dates, because first judgments are not good predictors of eventual feelings.

    I could probably work up some sort of metaphor about staying in the bidding for at least a few rounds to see what cards turn up, but it might not really elucidate anything.

  5. Deep Strength March 29, 2013 at 6:36 am #

    “***P.S. totally not endorsing poker of course”

    What’s wrong with poker?

  6. Crispy March 29, 2013 at 10:05 am #

    You were definitely endorsing poker. I’m telling. ;-)

  7. Peter T March 31, 2013 at 7:48 pm #

    Deep Strength:
    “What’s wrong with poker?”

    It is a zero-sum game: What one person wins, another one has to loose. The introduction of the house doesn’t change much, because the house, by its rules, must always win on average, making the other players loosing more often.

  8. nitouken April 3, 2013 at 7:52 am #

    First few dates are the ante. When it goes from ‘girl you’re seeing’ to ‘girlfriend’, you’ve just seen the flop. As long as you’re not holding a busted hand, pay to see the flop. Here’s where the gamble comes in. Call too early and she’ll fold; she can see the flop, too. She knows you’re desperate. Keep raising her, but small enough to keep her interested. You’ve got a pretty good idea of your hand; only two cards left. Buy the diamond, you’ve just bought the turn. The problem is that the only way to see the river is to go all in. Texas Hold ‘Em – first date to marriage in a single hand of cards.

  9. Clint April 9, 2013 at 8:34 am #


    That was awesome.

  10. Franz April 18, 2013 at 9:08 pm #

    Granted, I’m still on the market, but I’ve been on both sides of this coin to some extent now and I’ve heard enough other accounts to arrive at this theory: men tend to know these things before women do. Why? Probably because men are more used to dealing with scarcity in this area. When you have more options, you’re less likely to lock onto one; it’s easier to be seduced by the delusion that there will always be something better just around the corner.

    P.S. I’ve been known to enjoy a little five-card draw…

  11. M3 May 7, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

    I just found my winning hand 3 weeks ago.

    Right now i feel so damn good having cashed in my chips instead of chasing a higher jackpot. With the current SMP, i could have lost the house….

    instead.. i’ve found someone wonderfully redpillish to keep me company in that house.


  1. Lightning Round – 2013/04/03 | Free Northerner - April 2, 2013

    […] Winning hand: a good description of “settling”. […]

  2. Hurts So Good | your dainty pearl-handled revolver - April 3, 2013

    […] I just caught myself spending a considerable amount of time clicking on one site to another, all purporting to know the secrets to dating. Do this! But dear God, don’t do that! Oh, God. Why did you do that? For the love of God, don’t say this and that! Why so many appeals to God, you ask? Well, I happened upon a dating blog by a young Christian rocker. I never thought I’d look into, much less find, something that clicked: […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: