“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Jer. 17:9 (NIV)
I checked back in on the message board thread that I had posted about earlier, the one from the girl who’d had sex with an alpha on the fourth date, and then he did the disappearing act. The drama continued, not just in the thread, but she actually obtained a closure of sorts from the guy.
OP’s comments are a sterling example of how a woman’s hamster reacts to an alpha.
She protects him from criticism and only reluctantly accepts his shaming from the hen house:
It’s hard for me to think of this dude as being an asshole, but the more I think about it and read what you all are saying, I realize you’re right.
She wants to hear what he has to say when he finally contacts her:
I guess I’ll let him know that he can call me. I’m just really hurt at this point. But you’re right — I’ll hear him out. At least now I can get the closure that I’ve wanted all along.
I’m just REALLY curious about what he’s going to say. I texted him and told him he could call me after I get off work in a few hours.
Oh, GIRL, this is really not rocket science. Also, any time a girl wants to hear what a guy has to say even though she swears she has written him off, he was a mistake, she doesn’t care anymore – guess what? SHE STILL CARES AND STILL HAS HOPE. Such talk is pure, grade-A hamster talk.
OP gets her “closure” with alpha, but (surprise!) it wasn’t what she wanted to hear:
Alright, so he called about an hour ago. Basically, he apologized for not calling after we had sex. He admitted that he regretted doing it so soon, and that he was sorry for basically ignoring me for almost two weeks. I accepted his apology. And that was that. Honestly, I wish he wouldn’t have called in the first place. Yeah, I got my closure, but it was easier for me to get over it if I could just write him off as a dick. Now he’s not REALLY a dick, since he apologized. Gah. I’m sad now.
OP admits why she took his call:
Thanks everyone. I’m still super bummed (I guess a part of me was hoping he’d want to go out with me again?), but I know I’ll get over it.
OP in response to a commenter who asks if she would have gone out with him again if he had asked:
I would have.
Exactly how alpha was he?
I don’t know. I know I deserve better.
Mark the following as truth: the only time women claim not to deserve better is when they’re fishing for compliments from other women (or beta orbiters). Otherwise, women pretty much always deserve better than what they’ve got (or had). But let’s look at this situation a little more closely: OP really, really liked alpha and believed that they had a special enough connection that she got naked and had sex with him after four dates. Then she procured a phone call from him apologizing for his behavior. Most alphas would not even bother to call. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it seems like our alpha was possibly a greater beta/lesser alpha – he did, after all, take OP on dates, which is way more than most women can expect from an alpha male these days.
So what, exactly, does OP believe she deserves that is better? Considering what happened, she got about as good a treatment as she could expect. Oh, but she wanted to have sex on her terms.
Ay, there’s the rub.