In a current Boundless discussion thread, Amir Larijani talks about how he and a bunch of other guys from his church staged an intervention with a peer, basically forcing him to propose to his girlfriend of nine years after she finally gave him an ultimatum. I think we’re supposed to cheer that the men strongarmed this guy into fessing up to his commitment fears and
volunteering for lifelong financial servitude becoming the man God wants him to be, but the girlfriend is totally off the hook for sticking with a guy for NINE YEARS when he clearly had no intentions of proposing? Did she think she had NO OTHER OPTIONS? Was he THAT much better than everybody else? (Or were they having sex the entire time and so she had hamstered herself into thinking he was ~the one~? Because if they weren’t having sex, a nine-year celibate romantic relationship is just weird.)
No dating relationship should last nine years, unless you’re both widowed senior citizens who need someone to go to dinner at 4:30 with. Especially for Christians, it sounds completely unhealthy. Either you’re having sex, which is sinning, or you’re having almost-not-quite-sort-of sex, which is also sinning, or you’re not having sex at all, which is highly unnatural in the long term for two people who presumably are looking to have a future together where they WILL be having sex. I can see a Christian couple putting off sex for a year or two – but nine years?
I think I’m just having a knee-jerk reaction of mortification at the thought of marrying someone who more or less had to be pinned down and forced to say “uncle.” Sure, the woman in this sort of situation will always get cast as the angel who believed in his true, hidden self and showed biblical perseverance, faith, and loyalty in helping the man get past his fears, but….ugh.
Basically, I’m just here to reiterate my opinion that people should only date when they are prepared to enter into a marriage, and that the dating period and engagement should be short.